Loki's smile--Loki's genuine smile, not the bullshit he uses with other people--is warm and bright and Paul wants to do nothing but kiss it over, and over, and over.
How quickly the fall into a pattern again, how swift they go right back to how it was. Paul feels giddy. There's no thoughts of Nino's guys, no paranoid urge to double check the tape under the door they've already destroyed. Just Loki.
Just Loki and that slow, soft way they kiss, the kind that has Paul aching for more. He runs a hand through Loki's hair as he talks, mesmerized by the buzzcut, the feel, and then chances a soft kiss on Loki's cheek.
"You're gonna sleep," he assures, soft and quiet voice sounding more like a command, "I'm gonna be here."
'You can rest properly,' is more what he wants to say. 'I can protect you.'
He settles for another soft hug, detangling himself only to reach over and turn off the light.
The strokes were soothing in a sharp way that Loki hadn't realized he missed as much as he does, and Paul's assurance helps the detective scoot down a fraction so that he could lay properly and snuggle in closer, entangling their legs like setting a tripwire to a bell of alarm. His arm stays locked around Paul's waist as he tucks himself under Paul's chin, the place where he'd always felt most comfortable and secure.
"You fuckin' better," Loki rumbles with a sigh. The funny thing about it was that as soon as the words were out, as soon as he'd exhaled, Detective Loki was actually falling asleep. He'd been awake for more than 24 hours at this point and the much needed fucking and the hot shower was working against him staying awake in the warm and exceptionally secure embrace of his soulmate. Paul had always kept him safe, from bullies, from abuse, from his childhood nightmares that had only morphed and mutated in his adulthood. Spurred to the darker pits of humanity's depravity, his nightmares were part of the reason he slept like shit when he did sleep. Loki's brain was rarely ever quiet or still.
But the scent and feeling of Paul around him again, under all the shampoo and soap, Loki's brain finally settled and sent the man into a deep sleep. Normally reliant on his reliable internal clock, Loki's clock was set to snooze and instead of four, it was more like six.
When he finally did wake, it was with a deep breath and a questioning squeeze of his limbs to make sure Paul was still there like his everything expected.
Paul sleeps, too, though it's not for six hours straight. It's for four and a half, and when he wakes up and Loki is still tucked against his arm and the elation in his mind is wondrous.
This is real. This isn't something he's dreamed--and he has every so often, a recurring one thats just him and Loki--and Paul thinks about how fucking lucky he is that not only do dreams come true, but Loki seems to reciprocate his feelings if those legs entangled and entwined in his is anything to go by.
Paul may have snored, but when he wakes he can't fall asleep. Not when he's looking at years he's lost, Loki's lashes long and delicate cupids bow soft in his peaceful slumber. There's something beautiful about how something so etched in the dedication of others and forged in acrid morality can look so cherubic.
Paul kisses Loki's forehead and whispers a passage he still knows from all of those times he'd memorized the Bible just to impress Loki when they were young.
"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love."
When Loki does wake, Paul's still up but hasn't detangled himself. His arm is numb, but it's the one that's been shot. He can't feel it anyway.
The whisper didn't come anywhere close to waking him but asleep Loki still grips Paul with a contented breath at the soft sound of him as the wrap of sleep holds him against Paul. Of course Loki loves him; Paul was an oasis of comfort and security. They had always fought for each other, loved each other in the best way they knew how, and Loki had long understood how their weaknesses and strengths complimented each other. It had always been them against the world and for all the fleeting and rare dreams that Loki had about waking up in Paul's arms, there were just as many mornings that he woke up alone and anxious, ready to dive back into purposeful work that kept him out of his own sorrows.
This morning was different - a wash of relief out swelled the fear and loneliness that sat at the ready in Loki's chest and when he shifts his head back a fraction so he can look up in Paul's face, a sleepy smile slowly curls across his features. You're still here.
"Morning," he rumbles roughly, taking a deep breath as he starts to stretch, groaning softly before curling back into Paul, pressing a kiss to his chest. He could stay here for another hour at least; he hadn't slept so well in -
The relaxed air about him stiffened with a breath as he realized that there's no way it's been only four hours and he pulls his head back, eyes wide. "Oh shit. Did we oversleep?"
They fit together. Just like this, Paul looking down at Loki's stocky frame and slightly panicked face, reveling in the kiss on his chest. Reveling in the fact that Loki's here. He brings a hand up to play with Loki's hair--a new favourite thing, he realizes--and offers a quiet nod to Loki's question. It's cute, the way the other tenses up almost immediately. Paul wants that sleepy smile back though.
Loki's warm against him. Paul thinks maybe this is how he can combat that constant drizzle and cold mists of Washington: have his childhood friend curl up with him. Paul doesn't seem nearly as worried about what time it is.
It was tempting, oh so tempting to relax back to the carefree ease he'd been in, and while he relaxed a little - who could do anything else under that inarguably loving touch - he knew their time in this little bubble of bliss was limited. He had to be where he was expected so no one asked any questions. So he didn't have to admit to stealing time out of his own life for Paul. For the air that Paul seemed to provide his soul.
But it was easy to take Paul's lead.
"Only a couple. Surprisingly decent ones." They all had Paul here. "Not sure that I'm not still dreaming right now, if I'm being honest." Were they sure this wasn't a dream? Loki's fingers start brushing up and down Paul's back like a reassurance to himself that it wasn't. Were they going to be allowed to do this again?
"Mmmm-hmm." Paul's back to his quiet murmurs and soft voice, not wanting to break the spell. Seems like Loki's trying to do the same thing, and Paul curls his arm so Loki's just a little bit closer.
He likes this better than the nights in the dormitories. The mattress is about the same size, and they're older (and Loki's just as tall as he is) and scrunched in a little more, but there's no threat of anyone finding them and if he's being honest, Paul thinks he's different now in the sense that he realized what he's missed.
Maybe some good came out of showing his true self to Irene, if only for this. It's the best sleep he's had in a while, the most calm and centered he's felt in ages. He doesn't feel lonely with Loki around. He also doesn't want to get up, or to break the spell in any way. He decides not to, just for now.
"I could take you for Mexican this week," he says quietly. An open invitation. They'd mentioned it briefly, how they'd have to drive ages out of town, but Paul doesn't care. Driving is what he does.
God he loved how that felt, Paul's arm tightening around him and he caves to his impulses, tucking his face back into Paul's chest like they could hide from the day without anyone noticing. Five more minutes, he'll just take five more-
One night and Paul was already making him soft. Then again, Paul got a good night sleep. Maybe that was worth the soft.
"Wednesday night," came the muttered reply. "We can go Wednesday night."
That was only 3 nights away. They could manage that right? Loki would bust his ass if he had to; anything to make sure he was free for a date night..
"Think my car will be done by then? Because until then, either you're driving me around or I'm hoofing it."
Wednesday night. Wednesday night and Paul gets to have a date with Loki. He's never had a date before, not an official one--driving around with Irene and before that stealing cars and taking a younger Loki for joyrides, sure, but a date date?
He can do it. He can try for Loki. Loki deserves nice things. Loki's a good guy, a good person, and Paul knows for a fact the other man won't take time off unless he's being gently strong armed. Why not a date?
"I wanna drive you around," he confesses, and it feels like he's proclaiming his love. He means it, calloused fingers finding their way onto Loki's shoulder, tracing tattoos he hasn't even begun to examine. He's already making plans to drive a few hours to pick up the parts he needs today. He can take the time off. He's a hard worker.
His alarm to get up and go to work interrupts that thought, oldies radio station blasting Tina Turner. Paul tenses only because he hadn't expected it, but his free hand moves to slam down the snooze button, a little more heavy than it needs to be as Paul resents it for the meaning behind it. They have to get up. Paul has to work. Loki has to save the day. Paul sighs.
"You want some shitty coffee for the road?" He's never been able to make it properly, something Loki commented on in the garage earlier. He doesn't care.
I wanna drive you around. Loki couldn't tell if Paul meant until Wednesday or forever and that didn't bother him the way he thought it would. Settling into anything that society considered 'normal' was off the map of possibility, but Paul- Paul knew him. Paul understood.
Loki hums a half second before the alarm goes off and the tension is back in his shoulders as he sharply inhales through his nose. God he hated loud sharp noises when he wasn't working.
"Yeah," he says, letting the breath out and pulling back again to put Paul's face into focus. "Shitty coffee would be great."
Fuck. All he wanted to do was grab Paul's stupid beautiful face and kiss him until the day vanished away under indulgences, but he'd indulged too much already. He had work to do, those kids were counting on him.
Loki tenses, but Paul doesn't comment on it. He's used to it--he knows exactly why. Probably the same reason the other's hellbent on stopping it from happening to other kids.
The blond nods, fully planning on driving up to some fast food joint for breakfast on their way to wherever Loki needs to go as he detangles himself. Paul can barely cook eggs and has nothing in the fridge, but he does have coffee.
The sound of the radio starts immediately as he walks out of the room, an 80s hits one that Paul listens to the morning traffic on. The pot of coffee is easy enough, and he reaches for the small box of toothpicks to put in his mouth, forcing himself not to look at the bedroom. There's a part of him that's terrified that Loki won't actually walk out of there, that maybe this is a dream.
Loki lays there, eyes watching Paul as he successfully gets out of bed, making it look like the easiest thing in the world - but Paul had always done that. Taken the impossible and molded it around his will as best he could, with more grace than was really fair. As the radio kicks on, Loki rolls into Paul's pillow and takes a deep breath, reveling in the smell of Paul and Them and groans softly in protest before rolling himself out of the sheets almost aggressively.
He had to go or he was never going to leave.
After a stop in the bathroom, a finger rub of toothpaste over and around his teeth before a quick and aggressive rinse, Loki pads back out of the bedroom fully dressed and can't stop the pull of a smile at the sight of Paul, like he wasn't a fuckin' angel. The only thing Loki was missing was his shoes and that was his next objective.
"I hung our towels up. Didn't know where you put dirty stuff, but they won't be hard to find when you get around to that... You found a place to do laundry yet?" Shoes on and tied, Loki stands up, ready for that coffee now.
Paul shakes his head no to the laundry quip--he moves every two months and this is one of his newer places--and Loki, well, he knows the lay of the land. Loki knows everything. Loki's smart as hell and the way that undershirt is clinging to him, the way the button up somehow fits him despite it's starched collar and the aura of obeying the man it radiates, it does something for Paul.
Paul's still in just his pyjamas, but a cup of warm coffee in a plain white diner mug is gently pressed into Loki's hands. Paul turns to grab at Loki's shoes and preemptively hands them over too, gaze soft.
'Our towels.' He likes that. As he moves to the bedroom to get dressed he finds himself smiling, and after a few swift beats he's back out, this time with his usual jeans and shirt combo, garage coveralls a contrast to Loki's professional style. He only talks after he's grabbed some coffee himself.
"It suits you," he says simply, gaze raking over Loki's outfit. There's that sense of pride again.
Loki could suggest at least three good laundry places, but the one he wanted to suggest was the one at his apartment. It was still communal, but it worked. It was close. Maybe Loki could talk Paul into.. just hanging out in his apartment while he waited for them. He couldn't let those daydreams get ahead of him too much, and he smiles at the mug pressed into his hand and takes a polite sip. A soft 'Thank you' was murmured at the resettling of his shoes and he keeps his eyes locked on Paul's shoulder as he walks away.
It still seemed impossible that Paul was here. That Paul was here and so.. so okay. He knew the man was hiding something, had something tucked up and away. But that was okay. Loki would rather have Paul and not all the answers than the other way around. Maybe he'd tell him, eventually.
By the time Paul comes back out, Loki's shoes were on, he'd already powered through the one cup and poured himself a second, and he was in the middle of buttoning up his shirt.
"I hate the collars," he huffs, even as he buttons his top button to hide the hint of ink that would be visible otherwise. "But people respect the professionalism that comes with it. They still won't catch me dead in a tie though."
He had a moral stance against them, in that men shouldn't be made to walk around with a would be noose on their neck.
"Still feels... weird." To have that kind of respect, even with his record. To have that kind of presentation, even if it didn't fit who and what kind of man he really was. A cotton and starch façade.
"Will I see you before Wednesday?" The question came with him tucking his shirt in, the last piece to the put together puzzle of a mask he showed the outside world.
Paul nods again, and maybe he's a little too close to Loki, but he doesn't care and he doesn't think Loki does either. He's always sort of hovered around the other anyway, happy to let Loki do the talking in any situation. This is no exception.
"Mm-hmmm," he affirms, and that boyish smile is back. "Yeah."
He's got to get to work. Loki probably does, too. Paul lingers a little longer. The urge to smooth his hands over Loki's broad shoulders almost wins out, but he settles on crossing his arms.
"I'd like to say yes, but I don't know where I'll be or what I'll be doing. Give me a call or something, when you're free." If Loki could come, he would. The only thing that took precedent was the job. The innocent lives that Loki went after in the name of their freedom. He knew Paul understood that, without question.
Loki downs his cup and sets it down, blue eyes coming back to Paul's. He didn't mind how close Paul was at all and impulse wins in the moment. He grabs Paul's face with both hands and kisses him soundly, like if he was never going to see Paul again, he was going to take this. It ends just as suddenly as it began and there wasn't a shred of shame or doubt in his eyes as his hands come down.
"You ready to go?"
--
Tomorrow was only a day away and while Loki had busted his ass, it was clear by the outfit change that he'd at least seen his home for a minimum of twenty minutes. It was also clear that he hadn't gotten any real sleep, the toothpick in his mouth rolling as he toys with it, both amped up on caffeine and relentlessly tired in a way that balanced itself out. His wounds still ached, forehead hurting any time he was too expressive with his eyebrows.
He'd invited Paul out for cop classic - Coffee and pie - and it was within walking distance from the station, good enough for a well deserved break before the sting that was planned. Loki had ordered an apple crumble slice and whatever on the menu Paul wanted to go with their coffee, and he was holding his cup like it could really do something about the cold that had settled into his bones.
"Give it another week and your shop is gonna be busy as hell. Housewives racing from the Food Lion hitting black ice or their husbands doing the same from the bar."
Paul hustles. It's like that kiss Loki leaves him with spurrs him on, and in a way it does. He hasn't felt close to someone like this in a long time. He hasn't felt loved like this in an even longer time. He left without a worried, worried about Loki's safety, not wanting to jeopardize everything Loki did to try to do to get out of an oppressive, terrible situation. Loki's forgiven him. Loki understands, just like Paul understands that Loki's a good guy, doing good things.
That's the thing about both of them: patience has been instilled in them since young.
He drops Loki off and immediately drives a few hours to grab the parts the shop refused to special order until later. Hauls them in the back of his trunk where he still swears he sees the imprint of Nino and Bernie's duffel bag filled with money where it stayed. Gets to work and refuses to take a lunch and works overtime, doing the same thing the next day until Loki's car is not only fixed, but tuned perfectly and modified. Paul uses the dirty money he got from the run he'd wound up nearly totalling Loki's care in anyway, figures it's even that way.
Loki deserves something nice. Fixing cars and driving are the only things Paul can really do. It seems like a no brainer.
--
Loki looks like shit, like he hasn't slept--probably he hasn't, Paul guesses, from how he's chewing on that toothpick and the slow, sloped way he's blinking--and Paul resists the urge to curl his hand against Loki's around that cup. He settles instead for looking at him longingly. Probably, people think he's staring. He's not not staring. It's hard not to, Paul's drawn to Loki in every way possible.
Pie's good, coffee's great--Paul's a sucker for lemon or lime meringue and any coffee that's not the autoshops is good coffee. Loki's here, too. That's what matters.
"Should be fun," he comments, mostly because winter isn't anything he's had to deal with too much in LA. Housewives fascinated him in a way they probably shouldn't, too: something about how devoted they are, a lot of times for people they barely actually know.
Paul, a smudge of grease on his face, overalls ditched only for the ride here, looks over at Loki. Loki's a busy guy. Loki's taking time to treat him.
"You got 10 more minutes?" He asks, voice soft, brows lifting.
There was never any mistaking where Paul's attention was and Loki reveled in it with just as much ease as he ever had; a lifetime of being an anchor for the driver, and fully at the ready to defend whatever Paul wanted to do with a full throated protective passion. Who cares what people think, even in this small town. They were friends, having coffee. Plenty of people had coffee.
Plenty of people would do terrible things for the people they loved.
Paul looked perfect in his smudges, smelling of oil and car and sweat and work. Good to the point of distraction. Loki tried to keep his face serious, or at least generally blank, but he couldn't quite hide the soft tilt of a smile that played at the corners of his lips anyway. Wednesday wasn't so far away.
"Yeah, course I do. What's up?" He shifts with his attention, leaning over his cup a little more.
There's a slow, soft curl of Paul's lips as soon as the words 'course I do' fall from Loki's lips, unable to help himself. He's excited. It doesn't show in a giddy way, no, but he blinks and he smiles and he stares at Loki like he's the only one in the world, because he is.
"I wanna show you something." It's an offer despite the tone, even if he knows Loki doesn't mind because he's already getting up and moving to his car, coffee in hand, pie long since gone. The smile is gone but it's still around his eyes, and he reaches out to open the door for Loki on his way to the driver's seat.
It was good they'd gotten to go cups and Lok drops a handful of crumpled bills on the table from the jacket pocket as he follows Paul towards the door and out. There was no question in it - 'I wanna show you something' wasn't likely to get refused, like two little boys playing out in the woods. Loki flicks a smile at Paul as he passes him and heads towards the passenger side.
"You behind the wheel and ten minutes? Hell we could probably get out of state."
He shouldn't entertain the idea of running away with Paul. That didn't stop some rebellious part of his brain from doing it anyway.
Paul's face pulls into brief but bright grin, cheeks ruddy like a schoolboy as they climb into the Chevelle Malibu he'd eyed since they were kids. He moves with purpose, moving his body only when nessecary, always unusually still but as he passes Loki he chances a very small touch: his fingers ghost along the small of Loki's back trailing softly as he moves, there and gone in an instant.
Paul still can't believe Loki's real.
They drive, and Paul stays fairly quiet as they finally pull into his workplace, a familiar car elevated on the lift. Paul waits to get out, looking at Loki.
"You shouldn't have wait." Not for his car. Not with what Loki does, how he chases the bad guys. How he's good. Paul loves driving Loki around more than anything, but acts of service has always been his love language. Getting Loki's car sorted out in a matter of 48 hours was almost as satisfying as his alternative job.
The touch across his back, muted by his jacket, still brought a hint of mischief into the edges of Loki's expression, the corners of his mouth curling up fractionally as they settle into the car. It made his heart flutter in a way that he normally only felt when he was on the edge of having an explosive panic attack, the results of which tended to almost always launch him into a violent coping resolution, and it was odd in its unfamiliarity. Odd in the flood of warmth it brought him.
Loki's head stays on a swivel and he looks over to watch Paul drive into the little car shop lot. What had he done? You shouldn't have to wait. Nothing could have stopped the way his lips curled at the edges, face softening fondly. He wants to make a joke about this being payment for that great fuck the other night, but it wasn't 'just a fuck' and this idea is swiftly followed by dissent. He didn't want to make what they had small and Paul's work was rock solid. Any car tuned by him probably ran just as good if not better than when it rolled off the lot.
"Put a rush job on it?" As soon as Paul parks, Loki steps out, closing the door but waiting with his arm resting on the top of Paul's car for the man himself to step out and lead the way. "It's only been two days - parts get in early?"
Loki takes Paul out for coffee and donuts, and Paul thinks it's the best thing in the world. Now he's getting to show his hard work to Loki, and he thinks as he slides out that maybe this is the best thing in the world, too. That lightness that hardly ever touches him, magnified because of Loki's presence.
'I did this for you, because I know it would make you smile.' But that seems too corny, too much like he's showing off. He doesn't want to show off, he just wants Loki to be happy.
"I took care of it," he answers nebulously. He can't lie to Loki like he wants to but he's too humble to admit he drove like hell to pick them up himself and spent most of the night assembling everything. He points, making his way further into the little garage, knowing Loki will follow him.
Of course Loki follows him, his smile breaking wider at Paul's 'I took care of it'. It would be ominous, if they weren't talking about his car, because Paul was always thorough. Efficient in a way that would be scary if Loki didn't already trust him so much.
"What can I say, we both know takin' care of cars were never my thing." It was Paul's and part of the respect they had for each other growing up was not elbowing in on the Things that they both liked. Accepting each other what they were, what they wanted, what brought them that small fraction of peace that they both so deeply needed.
"So I'm guessing this means that it hasn't run as well as it's going to since it came off the lot?" He couldn't say that he was proud, but he was. Paul was good. Paul had busted his ass for this. Two days. For him. His cheeks were going to hurt by the time they parted again.
"No bill," Paul says that automatically, because he means it. He's the one that wrecked his car anyway, even if they can't say it out loud. This isn't what he owes Loki, but it's what he wants to do.
Let Loki be the good guy. He knows how, he's smarter then Paul ever was and he's got a decent head on his shoulders. Anything Paul can do to help.
Shit.
He's really got it bad for Loki. Paul leans against Loki's car, pleased. He takes a small breath.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2023-11-17 03:15 pm (UTC)How quickly the fall into a pattern again, how swift they go right back to how it was. Paul feels giddy. There's no thoughts of Nino's guys, no paranoid urge to double check the tape under the door they've already destroyed. Just Loki.
Just Loki and that slow, soft way they kiss, the kind that has Paul aching for more. He runs a hand through Loki's hair as he talks, mesmerized by the buzzcut, the feel, and then chances a soft kiss on Loki's cheek.
"You're gonna sleep," he assures, soft and quiet voice sounding more like a command, "I'm gonna be here."
'You can rest properly,' is more what he wants to say. 'I can protect you.'
He settles for another soft hug, detangling himself only to reach over and turn off the light.
no subject
Date: 2023-11-18 01:59 am (UTC)"You fuckin' better," Loki rumbles with a sigh. The funny thing about it was that as soon as the words were out, as soon as he'd exhaled, Detective Loki was actually falling asleep. He'd been awake for more than 24 hours at this point and the much needed fucking and the hot shower was working against him staying awake in the warm and exceptionally secure embrace of his soulmate. Paul had always kept him safe, from bullies, from abuse, from his childhood nightmares that had only morphed and mutated in his adulthood. Spurred to the darker pits of humanity's depravity, his nightmares were part of the reason he slept like shit when he did sleep. Loki's brain was rarely ever quiet or still.
But the scent and feeling of Paul around him again, under all the shampoo and soap, Loki's brain finally settled and sent the man into a deep sleep. Normally reliant on his reliable internal clock, Loki's clock was set to snooze and instead of four, it was more like six.
When he finally did wake, it was with a deep breath and a questioning squeeze of his limbs to make sure Paul was still there like his everything expected.
no subject
Date: 2023-11-18 02:33 am (UTC)This is real. This isn't something he's dreamed--and he has every so often, a recurring one thats just him and Loki--and Paul thinks about how fucking lucky he is that not only do dreams come true, but Loki seems to reciprocate his feelings if those legs entangled and entwined in his is anything to go by.
Paul may have snored, but when he wakes he can't fall asleep. Not when he's looking at years he's lost, Loki's lashes long and delicate cupids bow soft in his peaceful slumber. There's something beautiful about how something so etched in the dedication of others and forged in acrid morality can look so cherubic.
Paul kisses Loki's forehead and whispers a passage he still knows from all of those times he'd memorized the Bible just to impress Loki when they were young.
"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love."
When Loki does wake, Paul's still up but hasn't detangled himself. His arm is numb, but it's the one that's been shot. He can't feel it anyway.
"Morning." He owes Loki a hello, sleepy or not.
no subject
Date: 2023-11-18 03:13 pm (UTC)This morning was different - a wash of relief out swelled the fear and loneliness that sat at the ready in Loki's chest and when he shifts his head back a fraction so he can look up in Paul's face, a sleepy smile slowly curls across his features. You're still here.
"Morning," he rumbles roughly, taking a deep breath as he starts to stretch, groaning softly before curling back into Paul, pressing a kiss to his chest. He could stay here for another hour at least; he hadn't slept so well in -
The relaxed air about him stiffened with a breath as he realized that there's no way it's been only four hours and he pulls his head back, eyes wide. "Oh shit. Did we oversleep?"
no subject
Date: 2023-11-18 03:39 pm (UTC)Loki's warm against him. Paul thinks maybe this is how he can combat that constant drizzle and cold mists of Washington: have his childhood friend curl up with him. Paul doesn't seem nearly as worried about what time it is.
"Did you dream?"
no subject
Date: 2023-11-19 05:42 pm (UTC)But it was easy to take Paul's lead.
"Only a couple. Surprisingly decent ones." They all had Paul here. "Not sure that I'm not still dreaming right now, if I'm being honest." Were they sure this wasn't a dream? Loki's fingers start brushing up and down Paul's back like a reassurance to himself that it wasn't. Were they going to be allowed to do this again?
"You get any good rest?"
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Date: 2023-11-19 06:40 pm (UTC)He likes this better than the nights in the dormitories. The mattress is about the same size, and they're older (and Loki's just as tall as he is) and scrunched in a little more, but there's no threat of anyone finding them and if he's being honest, Paul thinks he's different now in the sense that he realized what he's missed.
Maybe some good came out of showing his true self to Irene, if only for this. It's the best sleep he's had in a while, the most calm and centered he's felt in ages. He doesn't feel lonely with Loki around. He also doesn't want to get up, or to break the spell in any way. He decides not to, just for now.
"I could take you for Mexican this week," he says quietly. An open invitation. They'd mentioned it briefly, how they'd have to drive ages out of town, but Paul doesn't care. Driving is what he does.
no subject
Date: 2023-11-20 02:30 am (UTC)One night and Paul was already making him soft. Then again, Paul got a good night sleep. Maybe that was worth the soft.
"Wednesday night," came the muttered reply. "We can go Wednesday night."
That was only 3 nights away. They could manage that right? Loki would bust his ass if he had to; anything to make sure he was free for a date night..
"Think my car will be done by then? Because until then, either you're driving me around or I'm hoofing it."
no subject
Date: 2023-11-20 03:38 pm (UTC)He can do it. He can try for Loki. Loki deserves nice things. Loki's a good guy, a good person, and Paul knows for a fact the other man won't take time off unless he's being gently strong armed. Why not a date?
"I wanna drive you around," he confesses, and it feels like he's proclaiming his love. He means it, calloused fingers finding their way onto Loki's shoulder, tracing tattoos he hasn't even begun to examine. He's already making plans to drive a few hours to pick up the parts he needs today. He can take the time off. He's a hard worker.
His alarm to get up and go to work interrupts that thought, oldies radio station blasting Tina Turner. Paul tenses only because he hadn't expected it, but his free hand moves to slam down the snooze button, a little more heavy than it needs to be as Paul resents it for the meaning behind it. They have to get up. Paul has to work. Loki has to save the day. Paul sighs.
"You want some shitty coffee for the road?" He's never been able to make it properly, something Loki commented on in the garage earlier. He doesn't care.
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Date: 2023-11-24 09:31 pm (UTC)Loki hums a half second before the alarm goes off and the tension is back in his shoulders as he sharply inhales through his nose. God he hated loud sharp noises when he wasn't working.
"Yeah," he says, letting the breath out and pulling back again to put Paul's face into focus. "Shitty coffee would be great."
Fuck. All he wanted to do was grab Paul's stupid beautiful face and kiss him until the day vanished away under indulgences, but he'd indulged too much already. He had work to do, those kids were counting on him.
"But I gotta piss first, then I'll be out."
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Date: 2023-11-24 10:00 pm (UTC)The blond nods, fully planning on driving up to some fast food joint for breakfast on their way to wherever Loki needs to go as he detangles himself. Paul can barely cook eggs and has nothing in the fridge, but he does have coffee.
The sound of the radio starts immediately as he walks out of the room, an 80s hits one that Paul listens to the morning traffic on. The pot of coffee is easy enough, and he reaches for the small box of toothpicks to put in his mouth, forcing himself not to look at the bedroom. There's a part of him that's terrified that Loki won't actually walk out of there, that maybe this is a dream.
If it is, it's a really, really good one.
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Date: 2023-11-24 10:52 pm (UTC)He had to go or he was never going to leave.
After a stop in the bathroom, a finger rub of toothpaste over and around his teeth before a quick and aggressive rinse, Loki pads back out of the bedroom fully dressed and can't stop the pull of a smile at the sight of Paul, like he wasn't a fuckin' angel. The only thing Loki was missing was his shoes and that was his next objective.
"I hung our towels up. Didn't know where you put dirty stuff, but they won't be hard to find when you get around to that... You found a place to do laundry yet?" Shoes on and tied, Loki stands up, ready for that coffee now.
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Date: 2023-11-26 01:38 am (UTC)Paul's still in just his pyjamas, but a cup of warm coffee in a plain white diner mug is gently pressed into Loki's hands. Paul turns to grab at Loki's shoes and preemptively hands them over too, gaze soft.
'Our towels.' He likes that. As he moves to the bedroom to get dressed he finds himself smiling, and after a few swift beats he's back out, this time with his usual jeans and shirt combo, garage coveralls a contrast to Loki's professional style. He only talks after he's grabbed some coffee himself.
"It suits you," he says simply, gaze raking over Loki's outfit. There's that sense of pride again.
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Date: 2023-11-26 03:39 am (UTC)It still seemed impossible that Paul was here. That Paul was here and so.. so okay. He knew the man was hiding something, had something tucked up and away. But that was okay. Loki would rather have Paul and not all the answers than the other way around. Maybe he'd tell him, eventually.
By the time Paul comes back out, Loki's shoes were on, he'd already powered through the one cup and poured himself a second, and he was in the middle of buttoning up his shirt.
"I hate the collars," he huffs, even as he buttons his top button to hide the hint of ink that would be visible otherwise. "But people respect the professionalism that comes with it. They still won't catch me dead in a tie though."
He had a moral stance against them, in that men shouldn't be made to walk around with a would be noose on their neck.
"Still feels... weird." To have that kind of respect, even with his record. To have that kind of presentation, even if it didn't fit who and what kind of man he really was. A cotton and starch façade.
"Will I see you before Wednesday?" The question came with him tucking his shirt in, the last piece to the put together puzzle of a mask he showed the outside world.
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Date: 2023-11-26 03:54 am (UTC)"Mm-hmmm," he affirms, and that boyish smile is back. "Yeah."
He's got to get to work. Loki probably does, too. Paul lingers a little longer. The urge to smooth his hands over Loki's broad shoulders almost wins out, but he settles on crossing his arms.
"Can I visit you tomorrow?"
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Date: 2023-11-26 04:11 pm (UTC)Loki downs his cup and sets it down, blue eyes coming back to Paul's. He didn't mind how close Paul was at all and impulse wins in the moment. He grabs Paul's face with both hands and kisses him soundly, like if he was never going to see Paul again, he was going to take this. It ends just as suddenly as it began and there wasn't a shred of shame or doubt in his eyes as his hands come down.
"You ready to go?"
--
Tomorrow was only a day away and while Loki had busted his ass, it was clear by the outfit change that he'd at least seen his home for a minimum of twenty minutes. It was also clear that he hadn't gotten any real sleep, the toothpick in his mouth rolling as he toys with it, both amped up on caffeine and relentlessly tired in a way that balanced itself out. His wounds still ached, forehead hurting any time he was too expressive with his eyebrows.
He'd invited Paul out for cop classic - Coffee and pie - and it was within walking distance from the station, good enough for a well deserved break before the sting that was planned. Loki had ordered an apple crumble slice and whatever on the menu Paul wanted to go with their coffee, and he was holding his cup like it could really do something about the cold that had settled into his bones.
"Give it another week and your shop is gonna be busy as hell. Housewives racing from the Food Lion hitting black ice or their husbands doing the same from the bar."
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Date: 2023-11-26 06:04 pm (UTC)That's the thing about both of them: patience has been instilled in them since young.
He drops Loki off and immediately drives a few hours to grab the parts the shop refused to special order until later. Hauls them in the back of his trunk where he still swears he sees the imprint of Nino and Bernie's duffel bag filled with money where it stayed. Gets to work and refuses to take a lunch and works overtime, doing the same thing the next day until Loki's car is not only fixed, but tuned perfectly and modified. Paul uses the dirty money he got from the run he'd wound up nearly totalling Loki's care in anyway, figures it's even that way.
Loki deserves something nice. Fixing cars and driving are the only things Paul can really do. It seems like a no brainer.
--
Loki looks like shit, like he hasn't slept--probably he hasn't, Paul guesses, from how he's chewing on that toothpick and the slow, sloped way he's blinking--and Paul resists the urge to curl his hand against Loki's around that cup. He settles instead for looking at him longingly. Probably, people think he's staring. He's not not staring. It's hard not to, Paul's drawn to Loki in every way possible.
Pie's good, coffee's great--Paul's a sucker for lemon or lime meringue and any coffee that's not the autoshops is good coffee. Loki's here, too. That's what matters.
"Should be fun," he comments, mostly because winter isn't anything he's had to deal with too much in LA. Housewives fascinated him in a way they probably shouldn't, too: something about how devoted they are, a lot of times for people they barely actually know.
Paul, a smudge of grease on his face, overalls ditched only for the ride here, looks over at Loki. Loki's a busy guy. Loki's taking time to treat him.
"You got 10 more minutes?" He asks, voice soft, brows lifting.
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Date: 2023-11-27 03:06 am (UTC)Plenty of people would do terrible things for the people they loved.
Paul looked perfect in his smudges, smelling of oil and car and sweat and work. Good to the point of distraction. Loki tried to keep his face serious, or at least generally blank, but he couldn't quite hide the soft tilt of a smile that played at the corners of his lips anyway. Wednesday wasn't so far away.
"Yeah, course I do. What's up?" He shifts with his attention, leaning over his cup a little more.
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Date: 2023-11-27 03:10 am (UTC)"I wanna show you something." It's an offer despite the tone, even if he knows Loki doesn't mind because he's already getting up and moving to his car, coffee in hand, pie long since gone. The smile is gone but it's still around his eyes, and he reaches out to open the door for Loki on his way to the driver's seat.
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Date: 2023-12-04 01:55 am (UTC)"You behind the wheel and ten minutes? Hell we could probably get out of state."
He shouldn't entertain the idea of running away with Paul. That didn't stop some rebellious part of his brain from doing it anyway.
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Date: 2023-12-04 02:16 am (UTC)Paul still can't believe Loki's real.
They drive, and Paul stays fairly quiet as they finally pull into his workplace, a familiar car elevated on the lift. Paul waits to get out, looking at Loki.
"You shouldn't have wait." Not for his car. Not with what Loki does, how he chases the bad guys. How he's good. Paul loves driving Loki around more than anything, but acts of service has always been his love language. Getting Loki's car sorted out in a matter of 48 hours was almost as satisfying as his alternative job.
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Date: 2023-12-08 03:06 am (UTC)Loki's head stays on a swivel and he looks over to watch Paul drive into the little car shop lot. What had he done? You shouldn't have to wait. Nothing could have stopped the way his lips curled at the edges, face softening fondly. He wants to make a joke about this being payment for that great fuck the other night, but it wasn't 'just a fuck' and this idea is swiftly followed by dissent. He didn't want to make what they had small and Paul's work was rock solid. Any car tuned by him probably ran just as good if not better than when it rolled off the lot.
"Put a rush job on it?" As soon as Paul parks, Loki steps out, closing the door but waiting with his arm resting on the top of Paul's car for the man himself to step out and lead the way. "It's only been two days - parts get in early?"
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Date: 2023-12-08 07:48 pm (UTC)'I did this for you, because I know it would make you smile.' But that seems too corny, too much like he's showing off. He doesn't want to show off, he just wants Loki to be happy.
"I took care of it," he answers nebulously. He can't lie to Loki like he wants to but he's too humble to admit he drove like hell to pick them up himself and spent most of the night assembling everything. He points, making his way further into the little garage, knowing Loki will follow him.
"You needed your oil changed, too."
This is how Paul says he loves Loki.
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Date: 2023-12-08 10:53 pm (UTC)"What can I say, we both know takin' care of cars were never my thing." It was Paul's and part of the respect they had for each other growing up was not elbowing in on the Things that they both liked. Accepting each other what they were, what they wanted, what brought them that small fraction of peace that they both so deeply needed.
"So I'm guessing this means that it hasn't run as well as it's going to since it came off the lot?" He couldn't say that he was proud, but he was. Paul was good. Paul had busted his ass for this. Two days. For him. His cheeks were going to hurt by the time they parted again.
"Got the bill handy?"
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Date: 2023-12-09 01:35 am (UTC)Let Loki be the good guy. He knows how, he's smarter then Paul ever was and he's got a decent head on his shoulders. Anything Paul can do to help.
Shit.
He's really got it bad for Loki. Paul leans against Loki's car, pleased. He takes a small breath.
"I wanna make things nice for you."
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