[ Paul should have told Loki. He knows, Loki knows. Paul had always had one foot out the door anyway, and the only thing keeping him there was the only other kid growing up that never once asked him to speak up. He should have pulled up in his newly stolen car, grabbed Loki in the dead of night, put him in the back seat and hightailed it. He thought about it. He still thinks about it, dreams it on occasion: Paul still covered in blood and Loki, sleepy and confused but unquestioning. He always wakes up when they pull over to a rest stop at dawn.
He'd do the same thing again, though. And again. He wouldn't hesitate: just him, because he didn't want to even chance Loki being caught up in his shit. Loki's a good guy. Always was. Still is, too, because Paul can hear it in the silence, the heavy weight of the simple act of his old friend taking a breath. ]
I wasn't gonna let him touch you, do you understand me? And I'm not going to ruin what you have now.
[ Loki's managing to do it. Loki's clawed his way out of the gutter, Loki's fucking pulled himself up. He's good. He's a fucking hero. ]
Oh fuck you - I deserve just as much flesh for being used as a fucking tool for his bullshit and you're not gonna ruin shit.
[He had sat to relax but anger made him antsy and Loki pushes back to his feet and pinches at the top of his nose. The high of Paul calling him at all had dipped into an anxiety he hated. He was going to fuck it up and Paul would skip town early and he'd never see him again, but damned if he was going to let Paul invent a reason to do that anyway.]
You aren't responsible for my choices and its my choices that is gonna keep 'what I have now' which, by the way, is a steady job and an apartment - something either of us could get in any goddamned town.
[ he should hit the gas and drive away. He knows he should--if not back to LA than to Alabama, Vancouver, something that lets him drive. Something that gets him away from the mob on his heels, away from this dreary fucking place. Away from complications.
He's driving towards the police station, though. A wild hunch and a gut feeling that because Loki answered he'd probably still be at work because neither of them know what to do outside of themselves. And fuck, maybe it's wrong but he smiles a little as Loki's laying into him.
[Of course he's at work, and Paul's timing put him at just about his limit for staring at a screen for a day. His plan originally was to finish the tape he was on and then call it anyway. Now he had no idea what he was going to do - there was no just going about his business tonight and no Lodge nearby.
He almost wished that he drank. He continues, voice pitching a little for the front half and softening towards the end.]
What are you even saying to me right now? What are you saying after so neatly telling me to mind my business in the diner this morning? That you're allowed to care about my work but I'm not allowed to care about yours? Because that's bullshit and you know it.
What is this about Paul? Like really about. Is this about you staying? Is this about you- not buying the building my apartment is in or- [ Okay the last one was pure wild imagination, but Loki wasn't sure what was happening.]
[ loki's voice raises and Paul's ears sting because that frustration is directed towards him. It's different from the others, the kind Paul tunes out completely. His mother, Father Macintosh--that's nothing. Loki, though.
Loki's always got to Paul. Just had a way about him, even now. Even over the phone.
Cop station. Reviewing CCTV. But I'm upstairs on the roof so even if anyone is in the building it's secure. [His voice, for all the pitch, ebbed back into a tired kind of stubbornness. He wasn't mad, but he was still chewing over everything.
Maybe it was the tiredness but Loki didn't anticipate what was coming.]
[ Paul slams down the breaks, and the tires screeching in protest, cutting loudly through the quiet night. He swerves the car into place, burning rubber, smooth and controlled and tight, just like he does on film.
He parallel parks perfectly at front of the station, voice still very, very calm. He's angry.
[The scream of the tires is what draws Loki out into the gentle rainfall to step up to the edge of the roof, knowing full well that he was in Paul's line of sight. Paul hangs up and Loki knows he's going down. For all his spice and steel, he found it impossible to tell Paul no when it came to being allowed next to him.
Knowing he might pay for it, Loki stands there for a moment longer anyway before turning and heading back inside. It only took him a few minutes to close things down and gather his stuff, sliding his jacket on as he walks out the front door. A few seconds later, he was sliding into Paul's passenger seat and, with a small duck of his head to accommodate the gesture, slides his hood off.
Loki looks over and just.. waits. Paul always took his time, did things in his own rhythm and Loki wasn't stupid enough to push too hard.]
[ loki slides in like they're kids again, and Paul watches those tattooed fingers slide the hood off if his head. He feels less riled up just being near Loki, which is absurd to anyone who doesn't know them, or how they function: how Paul's outward quiet is boiling at any moment, how Loki's aggressive tactics are usually borne from empathy. Now, though, as Paul pulls out, he feels like they're on even ground.
He's grateful for Loki's silence. Paul stretches it, waiting until they're on the highway proper. ]
You don't need to know what I do. Maybe I don't need to know what you do but I know your chance to get here would have been shot if you were caught with me.
So you keep your nose clean. [Loki looks over from the peaceful thousand
yard stare out the front windshield. He'd caught that, that subtext of
Paul trying to figure out something under the surface. Staying was the most
realistic option. Loki wasn't dumb enough to get his hopes up too far.]
Don't get caught doing what you were doing that night. I know, Paul. You're
driving and I don't know if it's for money or for yourself or something
else. But I do know that it was you driving away with child traffickers.
[He needed Paul to understand why he had been asking. It wasn't to
rebuke Paul, only to make him understand.]
And no one's looking at anyone coming or going out of my non-existent
social life.
Paul thinks of Benicio, small and asleep in his arms after an afternoon of playing. How he'd promised to keep him and Irene safe. The foster homes that some kids went into, the things the priests did at Loki and Paul's boys home.
Loki wasn't just a cop. That motherfucker had chosen to bring down the very assholes he'd had to deal with his entire life. Paul feels a swelling of pride in him that circumvents the anger, soothing him in the way only Loki can do.
A good shark.
'So you keep your nose clean,' like it was that easy for Paul, but the way Loki says it makes Paul believe that maybe it really is.
His grip tightens. ]
I'll handle it. [ he's heading to his apartment without realizing it, letting the highway guide him wherever he feels like it. It's the only calming thing he's got right now.
[For everything that was different between them, which even Loki knew wasn't really that much, they were always aligned on child abusers. Loki had to reign that part of himself in now, but it only made him push harder in the other ways he'd gained power. Legitimate power, not vigilantism. Not the back alley beatings that Loki and his Lodge members gave out for doing that shit inside their area either.
He was glad that he'd been able to keep Paul out of all that. That didn't keep Paul out of all everything he'd gotten himself into on his own.
He knew how far Paul 'handling it' could go.]
Dealing with just them doesn't break the cycle. We need their contact. Their connection on the port. And we have a to have a case for it. If they get spooked, they're gonna pull out and we can't be sure they haven't after the mess of that motel. But they left with that money. They took the payment and we've tracked them back to the port.
Once I get what I need, I don't care what happens to them. [ He did. He wanted to see them through the system, but it was an acknowledgment that there was always in between places and times.]
[ Paul wants to help. He wants to retreat, too, to cordon himself off. He wants to tell Loki to stay in the car and just keep driving, but he knows Loki's conscience would loop them back before he left the freeway. It's hard not to think of Benicio anyway.
He doesn't like what he does. He doesn't like what he becomes, what he can turn into, why he's uiet and withdrawn all the time. He doesn't like giving information over either, not that he knows much at all, if any, and always by design. He heads off to a poorer part of the city, slides his car off of the busy streets. ]
I give you the route and I only give you the route.
[Loki fidgets with his Freemason ring, taking his time in answering. Paul offering to give anything at all up wasn't a gift to be taken lightly. They were both generally tight lipped for a reason and Loki was sure it was the only actually honorable thing about them. Discretion.]
If its the route to where you dropped him off. I know who he is, where he lives, what he drives- [He just needed to know where this cumstain of a human was going. The next step, the next clue.]
[ He likes that Loki falls into silence as they drive, and more out of habit than anything the driver finds himself circling the area, hovering but not pulling in yet. He's not trying to distract or make sure Loki doesn't know the way; there's just a comfort with driving that Paul's not ready to lose yet.
Loki wants the area. Paul can concede, give him that, especially for a child trafficker. Even if Paul really, really wants to find them himself. He inhales softly, and while he's still quiet and calm that unusual intimidating factor is gone. ]
I have rules. They tell me where we start, where we're going, where we're going afterwards. I give them five minutes when we get there; anything happens in that five minutes and I'm theirs. No matter what. Anything a minute on either side of that and they're on their own. [ Loki had unfortunately been in that window. Paul continues. ]
I don't sit in. I don't learn names. I don't carry a gun. I just drive.
[ He purposefully doesn't ask, purposefully doesn't want to know. He's tailored this, given himself rules, mostly from what Loki's always advised. It genuinely works out well for him unless he deviates, like he's doing now. He's not sure he's spoken this much to Loki, even if it's a modified version of the speech he's memorized. It's kind of nice to speak around the other, though, even if it's about the bleak things.
Especially if it's about the bleak things. Loki's the only one that fully understands where he's coming from. These are my rules, he wants to say, I'm trying to follow your lead. Even now. Instead, he finally eases into a parking lot. ]
[Loki listens. He's still, eyes locked on the rearview mirror and the blues he hoped would meet his own up there.
Paul didn't carry a gun. Loki remembered when he got up in Paul's face, giving him shit for taking the easy route, reminding him of how quickly that would land him in jail and were these fucking shit smears worth giving up his life? What can't Paul do with his fists or a knife?
Paul had promised and Loki can't help but be warmed by the keeping of that promise. He knew how violent Paul could be; better that he didn't rapidly up his murder count by having a projectile like guns.]
Yeah. I could get some coffee.
[He lets a beat pass, eyes dropping back down to the road.]
Smart rules. Clean. Plausible deniability. Do I get to ask what made you take this one? Money?
[ loki's the sole reason Paul's even remotely alright. The truth of it is that long before they both endured hell together there was something wrong with Paul. Normal children don't finish their toast while their mother leaps across the table with a knife and then stare at their dead dad for a whole day. Normal children don't live in squalor until child services peel their semi catatonic mom from the living room chair.
Loki's the reason Paul speaks at all, nearly completely mute by the time the half feral kid with the eye twitch got unceremoniously dumped into the boys home, ordered to share a bunk with him. Loki's the reason Paul isn't in jail. Loki's the reason Paul helped Irene as much as he could--hell, Loki's why Paul kissed that beautiful woman in the elevator in the first place. Loki is why Paul tries, period. ]
No.
[ nothing personal. It's not even a matter if trust, though Paul trusts Loki implicitly even if he absolutely shouldn't, not when they're in the wrong side of things.
He wonders if Loki would mind being kissed, he thinks, and gets out of the car. There's a dog barking loudly, some sort of rap music playing loudly across the block, heard over the half rain. Paul locks the car door and doesn't wait for Loki to follow, nor does he say anything else: he's leading the other into a shabby but decent series of apartments, three floors and dim lighting. Paul's apartment is on the top floor and tucked in the corner, right next to someone blasting a telenovella as loudly as possible at what's close to 4 in the morning. Paul pulls the keys out of his white souvenir jacket, unlocks it and leaves the door open for the other.
There's not much to it: the kitchen table appears to have some sort of car part on it and a series of smaller tools, a ring light above it. The rest is sparse furniture that no doubt came with the tiny, cramped space. Maps and maps of the city are neatly stacked on the coffee table, bed neatly made, kitchen about as small as a shower but still immaculately clean. Paul doesn't care about how cramped it is, he's already filling a coffee pot with water.
Loki's the first person he's ever brought into one of his apartments. Just like everything else, Loki's the exception to the rule. ]
It's bad coffee.
[ That's not going to stop them from drinking it and probably staying awake the whole night. Paul looks up, can't help himself once he catches sight of the one person he's ever cared about in his apartment like its nothing, like this happens all the time, like they picked up where they left off. Paul smiles, wide and boyish and bashful. ]
[It had felt wrong to stand by and watch kids give his new bunkmate shit when he was so obviously not okay. Loki hadn't understood why and he'd never asked, not until they were both much older, the trading of stories. Loki had grown up in the orphanage with no answer as to who his parents were. Why he didn't have any was always out of reach and the ugliness of Catholicism when there was no oversight and not a shit to give about the children in their care had beaten hope out of him.
Paul had given him something to live for. He couldn't do a goddamned thing about anything, except make sure that the older boys knew that Loki would raise hell and take the beatings that followed the Priest's attention on their number. He never regretted a single one, even if they turned him a little more towards Paul's direction of quiet and reserved.
Loki follows Paul upstairs, taking in all the little details of the building and stairs as they went, unbothered by the sketchiness of the neighbourhood. Anyone dumb enough to break into Paul's apartment while he was home was asking for it.]
Can't be worse than the station, [The remark comes back easy as he shrugs off his coat and looks around, searching for a place to drop it. Once he had, he was looking back over at Paul, catching that wide boyish grin.
No, he wouldn't mind being kissed at all. But that thought was shoved back down. They weren't exactly the same as they were before. It had been a long time.]
I've missed having you around, you know that? I know we didn't part great and that it's been forever but.. [It didn't matter. It felt like he was 17 and Paul was 19 all over again.]
[ they're not normal. They'll never be normal--that sort of stuff isn't in the cards for either of them. The stuntdriver and the cop, chasing after rushes of adrenaline in different ways, forever climbing through the mud just to feel a little more whole.
And Loki wants to talk about feelings. In not so many words, but he does, and the truth is Paul missed him, too. Almost every night, driving, trying to escape the inevitable loneliness that hits around the 2 o'clock mark. The kind that seeps into your bones and never quite leaves.
Paul's certain of two things: one, that he's going to ditch tomorrow and two, that Loki deserves someone far better. And yet: ]
Lock the door.
[ Paul's voice is it's usual soft tone, picking up where his old friend trails off, gaze unwavering as he looks at Loki calmly. The smell of coffee being brewed begins permeates the cramped quarters. ]
[They were never going to be normal. It was something that Loki had come to grips with while they were apart and something he'd come to peace with somewhere along the way.
Paul's ask of locking the door makes his stomach clench pleasantly. It was stupid; they were both paranoid and the door should be locked - the area was decent but even Decent had burglars. That was totally the reason he was locking the door.
Not for the passing wet dream of Paul daring to kiss him, secure in private behind a locked door. The lock clicks.]
You get a lotta trouble out here? [ He makes his way back into the barely there kitchen, leaning against the nearest wall, hands shoved into his front pockets.]
[ It's a small act, a little ritual Paul does: he reaches into his back pocket, pulling out his pair of soft, supple leather gloves. Aerated, the kind he uses to drive. The kind he uses when he wants some form of control over things, when he feels compelled to do something he knows isn't right. The brown gloves are by far the most expensive things he owns, even beyond the jacket, and there's something about the feel, the simple comfort of the act of puttinf them on that goes beyond just the practicality of driving. He takes his time.
Loki's making small talk. Wandering over to the tiny kitchen like any of this matters, like they matter. Like this isn't going to blow up in their faces eventually.
Paul stares at him. Openly, calmly, bright blue eyes unblinking. He tests the waters. ]
Come here.
[ loki has just settled against the wall but Paul demands it anyway. The Driver stays exactly where he is in the cramped space by the counter, watching Loki, nearly emotionless save for the slightest ripple of his jaw. ]
[Loki hadn't seen these gloves before. He knew Paul had a penchant for them, had seen a set or two back in the day but the ones that he slides on now are more.. Elegant somehow. But it was the tone, same as it ever was, now with that commanding steel that Paul uses when he's not messing around.
Loki swallows thickly, mind glancing back at his soft rebellion, and a tingle of electricity rolls through him. He pushes off the wall and walks over, stopping a handful of inches away, well within arms reach. His eyes dart over Paul's face, his jawline, those lips before coming up to settle on blues. A little defiance, a little adoration - god he was happy to be up here on eye level with him now. Gave them something of a level playing field.
[ He knows that Loki knows--despite holding his gaze Paul can see the way he swallows, how he's more than happy to obey and sidle closer. It gives Paul a thrill the way Loki looks at him, and he doesn't hesitate.
He slides a leather glove up the other's face, brushing against that neck tattoo before fingers curl along that strong, admirable jaw, forcing Loki to look at him even though he's already doing a beautiful job of doing just that. It's not a hard enough grip to hurt but there's pressure there, a reminder wrapped in soft, supple leather. He doesn't break eye contact. ]
You going to be a good boy for me?
[ The word choice is purposeful, his voice barely above a whisper. His thumb brushes against the darker hair man's smooth, stubble free chin before gripping just a little tighter. ]
[It had been so long. So long since Loki had felt this kind of jolt of energy, of want. Of need. He wasn't a virgin, he'd had sex before, but not for years upon years. Not after Paul. Fuck. His heartrate jumps at the first touch of that leather on his skin, breath already going a little shaky at the way Paul grabs his chin.
Something in his eyes softened away from the soft rebellion he always carried in them.]
Yes sir. Tell me what to do.
[He'd do it. He'd do whatever Paul wanted. He'd go chase down the fucking moon if Paul wanted. Right now, nothing else mattered.]
[ loki softens in the way the Paul likes best, those tired eyes sinking into something else, and Paul allows his thumb to move up and to Loki's lips, swiping over them.
Loki's called him sir. Loki knows exactly what to do already, and the blonde has to wonder if the other wasn't anticipating this since their breakfast. Paul knows he's thought about it--even before they reunited, he'd think about moments like this. How Loki, the one person who never takes anyone's shit turns so, so supple the moment Paul and him get like this. Paul takes his time, thumb pressing down on the other's lower lip to get him to open his mouth before stopping entirely and letting go. He places both gloved hands beside him, gripping the counter in the cramped, barely walkable kitchen. ]
Take off your shirt.
[ he wants to see the other tattoos Loki has etched onto his skin. He wants to see that fascinating half red eye look at him with lust, like he's the only man in the world. But he's going to take his time. ]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2023-08-29 08:26 pm (UTC)He'd do the same thing again, though. And again. He wouldn't hesitate: just him, because he didn't want to even chance Loki being caught up in his shit. Loki's a good guy. Always was. Still is, too, because Paul can hear it in the silence, the heavy weight of the simple act of his old friend taking a breath. ]
I wasn't gonna let him touch you, do you understand me? And I'm not going to ruin what you have now.
[ Loki's managing to do it. Loki's clawed his way out of the gutter, Loki's fucking pulled himself up. He's good. He's a fucking hero. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-29 09:37 pm (UTC)[He had sat to relax but anger made him antsy and Loki pushes back to his feet and pinches at the top of his nose. The high of Paul calling him at all had dipped into an anxiety he hated. He was going to fuck it up and Paul would skip town early and he'd never see him again, but damned if he was going to let Paul invent a reason to do that anyway.]
You aren't responsible for my choices and its my choices that is gonna keep 'what I have now' which, by the way, is a steady job and an apartment - something either of us could get in any goddamned town.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-29 10:00 pm (UTC)He's driving towards the police station, though. A wild hunch and a gut feeling that because Loki answered he'd probably still be at work because neither of them know what to do outside of themselves. And fuck, maybe it's wrong but he smiles a little as Loki's laying into him.
He missed it. God help him, he missed it. ]
You gotta keep your nose clean, Loki.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-29 10:57 pm (UTC)He almost wished that he drank. He continues, voice pitching a little for the front half and softening towards the end.]
What are you even saying to me right now? What are you saying after so neatly telling me to mind my business in the diner this morning? That you're allowed to care about my work but I'm not allowed to care about yours? Because that's bullshit and you know it.
What is this about Paul? Like really about. Is this about you staying? Is this about you- not buying the building my apartment is in or- [ Okay the last one was pure wild imagination, but Loki wasn't sure what was happening.]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-29 11:14 pm (UTC)Loki's always got to Paul. Just had a way about him, even now. Even over the phone.
The driver grips his steering wheel. ]
Where are you, Loki?
[ there's that calmness. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-29 11:20 pm (UTC)Maybe it was the tiredness but Loki didn't anticipate what was coming.]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-29 11:25 pm (UTC)He parallel parks perfectly at front of the station, voice still very, very calm. He's angry.
He needs to see Loki. ]
Get in.
[ Paul hangs up. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-29 11:33 pm (UTC)Knowing he might pay for it, Loki stands there for a moment longer anyway before turning and heading back inside. It only took him a few minutes to close things down and gather his stuff, sliding his jacket on as he walks out the front door. A few seconds later, he was sliding into Paul's passenger seat and, with a small duck of his head to accommodate the gesture, slides his hood off.
Loki looks over and just.. waits. Paul always took his time, did things in his own rhythm and Loki wasn't stupid enough to push too hard.]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-29 11:48 pm (UTC)He's grateful for Loki's silence. Paul stretches it, waiting until they're on the highway proper. ]
You don't need to know what I do. Maybe I don't need to know what you do but I know your chance to get here would have been shot if you were caught with me.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-30 12:05 am (UTC)So you keep your nose clean. [Loki looks over from the peaceful thousand yard stare out the front windshield. He'd caught that, that subtext of Paul trying to figure out something under the surface. Staying was the most realistic option. Loki wasn't dumb enough to get his hopes up too far.]
Don't get caught doing what you were doing that night. I know, Paul. You're driving and I don't know if it's for money or for yourself or something else. But I do know that it was you driving away with child traffickers. [He needed Paul to understand why he had been asking. It wasn't to rebuke Paul, only to make him understand.]
And no one's looking at anyone coming or going out of my non-existent social life.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-30 12:19 am (UTC)Paul thinks of Benicio, small and asleep in his arms after an afternoon of playing. How he'd promised to keep him and Irene safe. The foster homes that some kids went into, the things the priests did at Loki and Paul's boys home.
Loki wasn't just a cop. That motherfucker had chosen to bring down the very assholes he'd had to deal with his entire life. Paul feels a swelling of pride in him that circumvents the anger, soothing him in the way only Loki can do.
A good shark.
'So you keep your nose clean,' like it was that easy for Paul, but the way Loki says it makes Paul believe that maybe it really is.
His grip tightens. ]
I'll handle it. [ he's heading to his apartment without realizing it, letting the highway guide him wherever he feels like it. It's the only calming thing he's got right now.
He had a child trafficker in his fucking car. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-30 01:31 am (UTC)He was glad that he'd been able to keep Paul out of all that. That didn't keep Paul out of all everything he'd gotten himself into on his own.
He knew how far Paul 'handling it' could go.]
Dealing with just them doesn't break the cycle. We need their contact. Their connection on the port. And we have a to have a case for it. If they get spooked, they're gonna pull out and we can't be sure they haven't after the mess of that motel. But they left with that money. They took the payment and we've tracked them back to the port.
Once I get what I need, I don't care what happens to them. [ He did. He wanted to see them through the system, but it was an acknowledgment that there was always in between places and times.]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-30 02:06 am (UTC)He doesn't like what he does. He doesn't like what he becomes, what he can turn into, why he's uiet and withdrawn all the time. He doesn't like giving information over either, not that he knows much at all, if any, and always by design. He heads off to a poorer part of the city, slides his car off of the busy streets. ]
I give you the route and I only give you the route.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-30 04:25 pm (UTC)If its the route to where you dropped him off. I know who he is, where he lives, what he drives- [He just needed to know where this cumstain of a human was going. The next step, the next clue.]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-30 05:36 pm (UTC)Loki wants the area. Paul can concede, give him that, especially for a child trafficker. Even if Paul really, really wants to find them himself. He inhales softly, and while he's still quiet and calm that unusual intimidating factor is gone. ]
I have rules. They tell me where we start, where we're going, where we're going afterwards. I give them five minutes when we get there; anything happens in that five minutes and I'm theirs. No matter what. Anything a minute on either side of that and they're on their own. [ Loki had unfortunately been in that window. Paul continues. ]
I don't sit in. I don't learn names. I don't carry a gun. I just drive.
[ He purposefully doesn't ask, purposefully doesn't want to know. He's tailored this, given himself rules, mostly from what Loki's always advised. It genuinely works out well for him unless he deviates, like he's doing now. He's not sure he's spoken this much to Loki, even if it's a modified version of the speech he's memorized. It's kind of nice to speak around the other, though, even if it's about the bleak things.
Especially if it's about the bleak things. Loki's the only one that fully understands where he's coming from. These are my rules, he wants to say, I'm trying to follow your lead. Even now. Instead, he finally eases into a parking lot. ]
You want some coffee?
no subject
Date: 2023-09-01 01:11 am (UTC)Paul didn't carry a gun. Loki remembered when he got up in Paul's face, giving him shit for taking the easy route, reminding him of how quickly that would land him in jail and were these fucking shit smears worth giving up his life? What can't Paul do with his fists or a knife?
Paul had promised and Loki can't help but be warmed by the keeping of that promise. He knew how violent Paul could be; better that he didn't rapidly up his murder count by having a projectile like guns.]
Yeah. I could get some coffee.
[He lets a beat pass, eyes dropping back down to the road.]
Smart rules. Clean. Plausible deniability. Do I get to ask what made you take this one? Money?
no subject
Date: 2023-09-01 03:00 pm (UTC)Loki's the reason Paul speaks at all, nearly completely mute by the time the half feral kid with the eye twitch got unceremoniously dumped into the boys home, ordered to share a bunk with him. Loki's the reason Paul isn't in jail. Loki's the reason Paul helped Irene as much as he could--hell, Loki's why Paul kissed that beautiful woman in the elevator in the first place. Loki is why Paul tries, period. ]
No.
[ nothing personal. It's not even a matter if trust, though Paul trusts Loki implicitly even if he absolutely shouldn't, not when they're in the wrong side of things.
He wonders if Loki would mind being kissed, he thinks, and gets out of the car. There's a dog barking loudly, some sort of rap music playing loudly across the block, heard over the half rain. Paul locks the car door and doesn't wait for Loki to follow, nor does he say anything else: he's leading the other into a shabby but decent series of apartments, three floors and dim lighting. Paul's apartment is on the top floor and tucked in the corner, right next to someone blasting a telenovella as loudly as possible at what's close to 4 in the morning. Paul pulls the keys out of his white souvenir jacket, unlocks it and leaves the door open for the other.
There's not much to it: the kitchen table appears to have some sort of car part on it and a series of smaller tools, a ring light above it. The rest is sparse furniture that no doubt came with the tiny, cramped space. Maps and maps of the city are neatly stacked on the coffee table, bed neatly made, kitchen about as small as a shower but still immaculately clean. Paul doesn't care about how cramped it is, he's already filling a coffee pot with water.
Loki's the first person he's ever brought into one of his apartments. Just like everything else, Loki's the exception to the rule. ]
It's bad coffee.
[ That's not going to stop them from drinking it and probably staying awake the whole night. Paul looks up, can't help himself once he catches sight of the one person he's ever cared about in his apartment like its nothing, like this happens all the time, like they picked up where they left off. Paul smiles, wide and boyish and bashful. ]
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Date: 2023-09-01 10:30 pm (UTC)Paul had given him something to live for. He couldn't do a goddamned thing about anything, except make sure that the older boys knew that Loki would raise hell and take the beatings that followed the Priest's attention on their number. He never regretted a single one, even if they turned him a little more towards Paul's direction of quiet and reserved.
Loki follows Paul upstairs, taking in all the little details of the building and stairs as they went, unbothered by the sketchiness of the neighbourhood. Anyone dumb enough to break into Paul's apartment while he was home was asking for it.]
Can't be worse than the station, [The remark comes back easy as he shrugs off his coat and looks around, searching for a place to drop it. Once he had, he was looking back over at Paul, catching that wide boyish grin.
No, he wouldn't mind being kissed at all. But that thought was shoved back down. They weren't exactly the same as they were before. It had been a long time.]
I've missed having you around, you know that? I know we didn't part great and that it's been forever but.. [It didn't matter. It felt like he was 17 and Paul was 19 all over again.]
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Date: 2023-09-02 02:46 pm (UTC)And Loki wants to talk about feelings. In not so many words, but he does, and the truth is Paul missed him, too. Almost every night, driving, trying to escape the inevitable loneliness that hits around the 2 o'clock mark. The kind that seeps into your bones and never quite leaves.
Paul's certain of two things: one, that he's going to ditch tomorrow and two, that Loki deserves someone far better. And yet: ]
Lock the door.
[ Paul's voice is it's usual soft tone, picking up where his old friend trails off, gaze unwavering as he looks at Loki calmly. The smell of coffee being brewed begins permeates the cramped quarters. ]
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Date: 2023-09-03 02:00 am (UTC)Paul's ask of locking the door makes his stomach clench pleasantly. It was stupid; they were both paranoid and the door should be locked - the area was decent but even Decent had burglars. That was totally the reason he was locking the door.
Not for the passing wet dream of Paul daring to kiss him, secure in private behind a locked door. The lock clicks.]
You get a lotta trouble out here? [ He makes his way back into the barely there kitchen, leaning against the nearest wall, hands shoved into his front pockets.]
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Date: 2023-09-03 02:06 pm (UTC)Loki's making small talk. Wandering over to the tiny kitchen like any of this matters, like they matter. Like this isn't going to blow up in their faces eventually.
Paul stares at him. Openly, calmly, bright blue eyes unblinking. He tests the waters. ]
Come here.
[ loki has just settled against the wall but Paul demands it anyway. The Driver stays exactly where he is in the cramped space by the counter, watching Loki, nearly emotionless save for the slightest ripple of his jaw. ]
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Date: 2023-09-03 03:54 pm (UTC)Loki swallows thickly, mind glancing back at his soft rebellion, and a tingle of electricity rolls through him. He pushes off the wall and walks over, stopping a handful of inches away, well within arms reach. His eyes dart over Paul's face, his jawline, those lips before coming up to settle on blues. A little defiance, a little adoration - god he was happy to be up here on eye level with him now. Gave them something of a level playing field.
He didn't ask 'what'. Paul would tell him.]
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Date: 2023-09-03 07:18 pm (UTC)He slides a leather glove up the other's face, brushing against that neck tattoo before fingers curl along that strong, admirable jaw, forcing Loki to look at him even though he's already doing a beautiful job of doing just that. It's not a hard enough grip to hurt but there's pressure there, a reminder wrapped in soft, supple leather. He doesn't break eye contact. ]
You going to be a good boy for me?
[ The word choice is purposeful, his voice barely above a whisper. His thumb brushes against the darker hair man's smooth, stubble free chin before gripping just a little tighter. ]
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Date: 2023-09-03 07:47 pm (UTC)Something in his eyes softened away from the soft rebellion he always carried in them.]
Yes sir. Tell me what to do.
[He'd do it. He'd do whatever Paul wanted. He'd go chase down the fucking moon if Paul wanted. Right now, nothing else mattered.]
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Date: 2023-09-04 02:15 pm (UTC)Loki's called him sir. Loki knows exactly what to do already, and the blonde has to wonder if the other wasn't anticipating this since their breakfast. Paul knows he's thought about it--even before they reunited, he'd think about moments like this. How Loki, the one person who never takes anyone's shit turns so, so supple the moment Paul and him get like this. Paul takes his time, thumb pressing down on the other's lower lip to get him to open his mouth before stopping entirely and letting go. He places both gloved hands beside him, gripping the counter in the cramped, barely walkable kitchen. ]
Take off your shirt.
[ he wants to see the other tattoos Loki has etched onto his skin. He wants to see that fascinating half red eye look at him with lust, like he's the only man in the world. But he's going to take his time. ]
Slowly. [ a warning. ]
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