Head wounds were fucking frustrating. They were healed, enough so that Loki didn't need to keep bandages on it, but the healing skin itched in a way that was almost painful. Itched in a way that he had to be careful to not scratch at it so much that he had to worry about reopening. Itched in a way that made him wish that the guy he was watching would walk the hell out of the run down place Loki had watched him walk into a half hour before. Anything that wasn't stuck in a car by himself with only the phantom ache and itch he couldn't stop thinking about to focus on.
It was a new case. There wasn't any hesitation in his chief clearing him for another case, not after watching the way he hyperfixated on the last one, not after the chief figured they should take advantage of Loki's solve rate. He was a good detective. He didn't drink, he didn't smoke, and he worked hard. The Chief didn't see the in between parts, the way the hyperfixation consumed more of him than most traditional 'hard workers'. Work was the only thing that Loki had. It was the only thing he wanted.
Purpose.
Finally, the guy walks out with a duffle bag in hand. Loki breathes out hard in relief, more than tired of waiting. He'd been tagged as a possible suspect in a child trafficking ring, so the money (no doubt it was money, it was always money) didn't matter nearly as much as finding out where he lived. Where his friends lived. What kind of friends he had.
"Okay okay," he mutters to himself, thumb tapping idly on the wheel as he watches the guy get into a car. "Where are we going?"
The Honda starts up and pulls off. Loki follows, keeping his car several lengths back. It might have been unnecessary, but Loki wasn't going to take a chance and by the way the guy drove, he had no idea. Loki figured the guy would head to an apartment. A seedy hotel, maybe.
Instead, he was parking in a derelict lot, swapping cars. Loki made note of it and continued his pursuit, only to be rewarded with that seedy motel he'd been thinking of. The guy parks out front of a room and hustles out of his car, into a motel room where things were about to get ugly.
Whatever plan this is is probably a convoluted mess. It usually is, but the driver doesn't ask. That's on purpose: he waits in a very common car, watching the other car pull up and head to the hotel he'd been asked to stay at, and nothing else. The watch gets fixed on the wheel and Paul does what he's always done, staring at the door almost completely still.
Four minutes.
He's acutely aware of the car with the other man in it. Doesn't bother looking at who he is, only catches him in the rear view mirror. Trouble already.
Three minutes.
The man emerges again, and the blonde leans over to unlock the passenger seat door. By three and a half, the driver's not staring at the man making his way towards the car but instead that other car. This city's newer but he's still got the entire thing memorized, pouring over street maps. It's not LA but it's still a beating heart and all the veins are something the driver's already intimately familiar with.
Two minutes in and another stranger emerges from the same room, this time with a gun. Paul opens the passenger door entirely for his partner, who barely slides in before a bullet flies, and he's already peeling out if the parking lot before his five minutes are up at his partner's yelled insistence.
Paul maneuvers the familiar car with ease, calm and collected while the man he's with screams that he's been shot. He's fine enough that he's still screaming, and anyway, Paul's not focused on that: he's being tailed. That same car, probably a set up of some sort. His gloved hands grip the wheel tighter and he swerves into a lane and practically drifts around a corner with calm precision, snaking his way through traffic at a high rate before turning right and slowing down completely and finding his rhythm. He can tell the other car is still tailing him, but in a few more minutes he's confident he can lose him. It just takes patience.
Something was gonna go south. He didn't know what or when, but he could feel it in his bones. His phone weighed heavy in his inner jacket pocket, enough to bother him into taking it out, having it at the ready like he would the gun on his hip. If these guys were smart - nothing to suggest the guy he was following had been but some partners were sharp - they might have someone else watching the place. Security. And right now, it was just him stalking a guy.
Loki didn't move beyond the almost anxious shift in his seat as his guy comes back out. Shit. New car, and this time he's not driving. The only thing Loki could do was hope that stupid collected stupid. But the car wasn't pulling away.
"Why aren't you moving," he mutters out loud. "What are you waiting for."
Then, someone else. Someone armed. Bang Bang. The stillness being broken triggered several automatic things. The phone was dialed in - "10-71, at the following intersection, I'm in persuit-" The directions were rattled off as his car jumps to life and skids onto the road. It was an aggressive start - no way in hell was this was a stupid asshole. The way the car swerved was too smooth, too practiced. This was a professional.
"Shit."
Paul had always been and would always be the better driver, but Loki wasn't chump change. He'd been in police pursuits too many times before and, for a few seconds, looks like he might be able to keep up. It was the turns that really slowed him down, too scared to hit it too hard and flip his car, conscious of all the civilians around but he caught what he could on the straight aways.
"Come on, come on," he growls as he pushes his foot down harder on the pedal. This guy was good.
Most of his drives like this are long and careful, slow and smooth. It's not the matter of a singular car, it's the whole unit that's going to inevitably follow him, it's--
--a familiar voice cutting through the police scanner he has, 10-71, at the following intersection, I'm in persuit -- that he realizes his tail is a cop. The voice sounds familiar in a way that Paul doesn't care to think on: not now. He's focusing all of his concentration on the road.
The cop's good. Shabby with the turns but he's been in a speeding car before, maybe a few chases. Paul plies the car to push just a little faster, keeping an eye on it from his rearview. Honda. Old. Not shitty, but normal. This cop wasn't expecting something like this then.
He stops thinking about that, too and gently loosens his foot on the gas, purposefully slowing down on a turn to let the car get a bit closer.
At that exact last moment he takes a hard, controlled turn and watches the old Honda try to course correct. There's a satisfaction he'll relish in later, when his job is done, about how that poor car skids to that side walk and immediately starts steaming up, narrowly avoiding someone.
The man next to him is laughing. The driver ignores him and spends the rest of the drive on the long game: avoiding the rest of the cars sure to follow.
--
He ditches the car, walks away and takes a taxi to his apartment where he winds up grabbing his actual car keys and going for a real drive. He listens to nothing but the quiet night, thinking about how much he misses palm trees and contemplating why that voice on the dispatcher sounded vaguely familiar, even though the crackle But quickly dismisses it as his imagination as goes to the 24 hour Diner he's managed to find. He treats himself with his hard earned money: a piece of pie and some coffee. He doesn't sleep, too amped on caffeine and adrenaline.
When he does show up for work--a shitty mechanic job a few minutes from where he lives--he's surprised to see a familiar car.
"Oh hey, kid--this came in last night. Bounced a curb."
The driver frowns, confused. It's the car from the chase, clear as day. That chase had been far away from him--did it end close to his neighborhood? Was this the only garage available?
"Cop car. We fix it fast and they leave just as quickly. Hey--he's coming back in a few minutes now that we've asessed the damage, and it's busted for at least a week until we get the parts in. You want to volunteer to tell him?"
Ha ha. Paul says nothing at the joke: he doesn't really say anything at all here. Suits him just fine. What bothers him is that there's not enough time to get the car down from it's position and look into the glovebox for information on the new curiosity. Until then?
The driver nods politely instead and gets to work, watching the car like a hawk for its owner.
The thing about car chases were that they could only really go a few ways. Loki might be able to catch up enough to hit the car, he might get lucky enough that the driver flips his own car with the pressure and everything else was a different kind of chaos. Loki wasn't stupid enough to pull out his gun, to try to fire out of the window to apprehend, but he could follow.
Or so he thought. The car turns too sharply and Loki knows he can't make it -"FUCK," he yells as it turns away from him, and the correction of his own speed and direction was too fast for him to recover. It was with screaming brakes and a hard bounce off of the curb that finally stops him.
"FUCK FUCK FUCK," he shouts, pounding three times in rapid succession on his steering wheel before sinking back into his seat and watching the smoke rise from his engine bay. Fuck was right. Repairs were going to have to come out of his pocket or come with an explanation as to why he felt the need to engage in a car chase all on his own.
-- Sleep wasn't going to happen. He was too amped, too focused, and too anxious about having lost his guy.
Loki calls a towing company, sets up his car to be taken to a shop by his apartment and walks back to the motel to meet up with responding police. The whole thing was a deal that went wrong, they figure and there's security footage of who the guy was meeting up with. Footage that wouldn't be available until the morning at the latest. So he pours over the motel room, walks around the property and chews over his next steps until the shop was open.
How bad the car was would determine how bad the rest of his day was going to be. Loki makes his way into the 'office', grabbing a cup of their 'coffee' - smelled and tastes like it was run through one of the oil filters, but shit it was better than nothing - before he's pointed out to the car bays.
"Your mechanic will get you up to date," he's told, and he nods his thanks before making his way out there. There was no mistaking his car, but its the mechanic in question that really surprises him. Loki stops dead a few feet away from the bay, staring with a quietly bewildered expression.
Was that Paul? It couldn't be. He had to be mistaken. Except the mechanic lowers his arms and lets Loki get a good look at his face.
"..Paul?" Maybe he was hallucinating. Not that he had any reason beyond no sleep to do so but - No way that Paul was in his area and he just didn't know.
He's wearing mechanics coveralls and a simple henley, toothpick inbetween his lips as he's working. He still doesn't have access to the glovebox--it's raised and lowering it means suspicion--but at the very least he can put his mind at ease and work, though not for very long: its' owner comes back and Paul lowers the wrench once his coworker whistles to let him know the other's arrived.
He freezes even if his body remains fairly languid in its usually semi-robotic stance. It's a good way to hide his surprise because this isn't what he expected whatsoever-this is beyond. He'd assumed Loki got himself killed doing something reckless, maybe, with his dogged pursuit of what he'd been able to justify, but not here and not the one shadowing him. Paul is not expecting the other to be so tall either, though the way Loki's brow furrows is exactly the same. Haircut, too.
And he's the voice over the police scanner.
It usually takes a few seconds for Paul to answer, a castoff of his younger days when all he'd do is shut down, something that's now seen as mysterious and brooding to most people because he keeps to himself, but there's a small tell in the way he blinks that pries his secret from him: he's genuinely surprised. Loki's still pale while Paul's traded the sleepy Washington rain for LA sun, but he looks good. Loki still has that spark in his eyes that Paul admires, even if it looks like he didn't get any sleep at all. It's endearing. It's worrying. Paul's mouth feels dry.
"Can't get the new parts for a week," he says, voice soft and quiet with a surprisingly strong commanding air to behind it. He leans against one of the work benches next to him and crosses his arms, watching the other carefully. He's still on guard.
He has to be. And he can't exactly ask what happened with Loki's car, not when they know. Not if Loki's still as whip-smart as he was when they grew up together.
He looked.. the same. Okay, not quite the same, age had only refined them but seeing Paul again felt like seeing a saint. Seeing a kindred spirit that the Gods had sent him. After Paul left, after Paul ghosted him like he had, Loki was sure he was never going to see him again. Torn between wanting to punch him and yell at him, wanting to hug him, shake him, Loki blinks that hard, full face blink and stays where he is.
Safer that way.
The information about the car barely registers. A week was too long. Meant he was already in the shit and he hadn't even gone in yet. It was the 'I can drive you home if you want' that sent everything in him further up into the internal flurry of emotion.
"Gotta go to work." Short, to the point. Blunt but not cutting. Stunned. Careful. If he got even half a hope up, he was pretty sure he would implode. "You-" He blinks again and glances back at the office. "Just passing through or are you working here for real?"
There's a careful lift of the driver's head as he watches it, that familiar full-blink near-twitch that he's thought on and off about for years, how Loki seems to pull himself together stitch-by-stitch in real time needing only a fraction of a second to do it. It's always been fascinating to him, how Loki moves. He used to be envious of it, but now he finds it comforting. Even now, through a sting of an emotion Paul's yet to realize is guilt.
Loki's just as short and to the point, cutting through everything and it's enough that Paul can't help the flutter of a smile. It's a flash but there, boyish on the driver's tall frame. It's gone in an instant, as quickly as Loki's blink as the other asks.
"I could drive you to work," He counter-offers, staring at the other's jaw, the way he still leads with his shoulders into everything and everything, even conversations. He's purposefully ignoring what he'd been asked.
The counter offer, the lack of answer, didn't help. The flutter of the passing smile had - they felt better when they had something to smile about, but for the life of him, he couldn't remember the last time that was. It had been a lifetime of a decade ago.
The math was too depressing but the memories still flutter through his mind. Him and Paul, small in the painfully spartan and coldly undecorated Catholic Orphanage, the shifts through the chaos of their lives that had always seemed destined to move together. The last time he saw Paul, they argued. The moment he realized that Paul was gone. He feels everything, all at once, blue and still tinted irisred-ish eye searching Paul's everything for- He wasn't sure. Too many options, too little time.
"Uh.." He glances at his own car almost longingly with another full face pinch. "Okay, yeah, sure. I got a few extra minutes, if you-" Fuck. Fuck. Paul wasn't supposed to be here. Loki's on a case. Loki is fully aware of the line, that threshold. He shouldn't. He shouldn't ask, he shouldn't offer, being in a car with Paul like they used to when they were riding around town at three in the morning was going to be hard enough. But he couldn't say no. Didn't have it in him to not at least take one ride around.
Just a lift. Nothing else. For old times sake.
"Like coffee or something, cause the shit you guys got here tastes like piss and oil."
"I made it," Paul says smoothly, automatically, right away, because for a moment he feels like Loki's back to being 5'3" and they're sharing a 40 wrapped carefully up in brown paper in an alleyway.
He missed him. His heart aches immediately, that twinge of something long forgotten lingering and slowly bubbling to the surface. The world is small now suddenly, just them with no one else existing, shrinking into the only thing that matters: them. He makes a mental note to drive to the nearest dealership and pick up the appropriate parts the next day, deciding to fix Loki's car immediately instead of waiting.
"Coffee," he agrees, and it's hard to tell if he's actually reluctant or it's a joke given his extremely stoic demeanor. He has work he should be doing, sure, but he has no problem making it up at a later date. He may be new but everyone's already fully aware of what he can do, even if he disappears for an hour he's here well until 10 most days. It's just coffee, anyway. A few moments away.
That's exactly why after agreeing Paul proceeds to lay down the wrench, grab a rag to wipe his hands down, and immediately start leaving his workplace without asking or telling a single person. He leads Loki back into the employee lot where a gray 1973 Chevrolet Chevelle Malibu sits, the license plates still proudly claiming California as a state.
Loki just stares at him for half a second before breaking into a flash of a smile with a huff of a laugh that broke some of the building tension. Of course Paul had made it. Of course they'd stumble into a joke. Fuck. This was stupid. He was being stupid. It was coffee. It was a ride. It's what he would focus on instead of all the urges storming his walls, battling for top spot.
Privacy was dangerous.
"Coffee," he echoes, gesturing Paul to lead the way and enjoying the realization that he's finally the same height. He caught up. He wasn't a runt anymore. But his stride slows as they come into the back lot and he sees the Malibu. The Car. She looked good, even if the sight of her twists his heart and forces his eyes back over to the lines of Paul's shoulders as he moves around the nose of it.
The only person he knew that drove that well had ever been Paul. It wasn't likely but it was sure as hell possible.
"How long have you been here," he asks as he opens the door and slides in, immediately reevaluating the passing concern that he might have to worry about the engine falling out. It was built out. Paul had done what he said he was going to. He got her. He fixed her up.
Loki laughs--a stacatto, more of a bark--and Paul feels ten feet lighter. He doesn't joke, they don't joke, they don't laugh, but the absurdity of the situation is real as he watches Loki slide into the passenger side.
He tries to ignore the gnawing again, the guilt. He left and that's that, it was out of his hands. It was out of Loki's, too, and that doesn't make any of this hurt less. It doesn't stop the sudden spike of intimacy he feels the moment the last door closes and he turns the key to start it. When was the last time this had happened? He finds himself wishing it was night.
There's no music, just the hum of the engine and Paul immediately relaxes, feeling like now he can properly assess the situation as he pulls out. Loki's definitely the owner of the car, and Loki's also not stupid. Far from it, Loki had excelled in anything Paul had seen him do, that sheen of infatuated adoration never fully leaving him. Loki's probably got suspicions.
"Just came back," he answers, always vague and going back to his quiet demeanor. He gets on the highway, and decides to ask even though he already knows. He turns the correct direction of the nearest police station. He doesn't take his eyes off of Loki in the rearview. He'll stop at whatever coffee shop is along the way.
That wasn't an answer. That was nebulous nothing. He couldn't decide if Paul was hiding something or if Paul was being... Paul. Loki couldn't help but wonder what had changed over the years. What had evolved, what had been repressed. He makes eye contact through the mirror and it was easier to hold there for some reason, the silver their gaze bouncing away some of the welling intensity.
"Place called Cup and Dough. It'll be on your left in about a mile."
He should leave it alone. He shouldn't ask again. He should wait. But he couldn't.
"How long, Paul?"
It wasn't just about the case. It wasn't just about the chase. It was about the fact that Paul had been within spitting distance and he didn't know about it. He had to know how long he'd existed in the same town with Paul and not felt it in the bottom of his gut like he used to. The softest parts of him was hungry for what they had. What they almost had. The harder parts of him were terrified that he was going to turn around and Paul would be gone again. That he'd be just another dumb asshole in the streets, looking for someone who wasn't there anymore.
[ It's 2am and he's just ditched a car on a Saturday night, but he can't sleep. He can never sleep after this, after the anticipation and adrenaline wears off but the nerve remains.
So he drives.
He drives and he thinks about everything, decompressing. He thinks about why he's here now. Thinks about Loki. He thinks a lot about Loki.
He's got his old friend's number form work, and he's already memorized it. He calls without a single ounce of hesitation, and instead of answering 'hey,' he just speaks. ]
I can't stop thinking about you.
[ there's the sound of the car humming, but it's a quiet sort of background noise. Paul feels like he can be vulnerable like this. ]
[ It's 2 am and Loki is at work, sitting at his desk with headphones on, watching CCTV of the nearby shipyard, waiting for something to give him a break in this case. Someone taking one of the cargo boxes food and water. Any kind of proof that the trafficking ring is moving through the port. He felt like he was throwing himself against a brick wall.
The call was almost a welcome distraction and it was only because it was 2 am that he answered an unknown number, Paul's opening flattening him in one breath. He glances around the otherwise empty office and pushes to his feet, heading towards the stairs and eventually, the roof.]
I'm going to take that as a good thing. [Fuck he wanted it to be a good thing. He could hear the car engine in the background and could see Paul perfectly in his minds eye.] Especially if you're calling me to say so.
[ He lapses into silence again, turning onto an empty street, losing himself in sleepy rain and neon lights. Loki picked up immediately, still up at 2am. He wonders if he should take Loki out for a spin, but decides that that's not what he actually wants.
Feeling lonely like this, it's second nature to him. Something out of it would he completely out of his comfort zone. He takes a while to respond. ]
[Loki doesn't mind the silence, taking that time to get upstairs. The roof door is propped open and he steps out, just under the awning. The rain was something of a comfort, and the smell of it made him quiet in a way no other weather or situation did. Even in the worst circumstances, there was something about it that set it apart.
He doesn't answer right away, rolling the question over in his mind.]
I suppose that depends on who you ask. [Keller yelling at him for letting Alex go came to mind, but that case was still painfully fresh in a way he couldn't shake. Was he good with this much blood on his hands? With the number of children he doesn't find or finds too late.]
I try to be. When I can. Might make up for all the times I wasn't. Means making choices though. [Hard ones.]
[ Paul's not so sure he did himself. He's not so sure he ever makes the right choice, not without Loki, not without his Loki, the guy that started a fight over some chode putting a hand up a girl's skirt in high school on his first day. Loki knows how it works. Paul...
Paul thought he knew how it worked. That's why he's here. Mostly now, he just wants to hear Loki's voice. ]
[Which time? Deciding to get into a car chase with an unknown with no backup? The last time he shot and killed someone? The last time he held his temper in check for the sake of a life?]
I do. You can guess what the alternative to my making the wrong choice is now. The only thing that eats me is time. How quick I figure something out. Or how long it takes me. [The people who die because he's not quicker or sharper or smarter-
Which is why he needed to know what happened the other night. What Paul was there for. What Paul knew.]
I'm going to need you to answer a couple of questions. The sooner the better. [But it didn't have to be this exact moment.]
[ why does Loki do this to himself? He's wound up so tight. Paul tries to think about how many times the other's face twitched over dinner, tries to compare it with what he remembered. Had it been the same? Probably, Loki's going to work himself into the grave. Paul, too, but Loki will be doing it to help people.
He still doesn't like it. Loki's always been just on the precipice of breaking, and Paul knows he won't forgive himself when he does. Not if. Paul thinks at the rate his old friend is going it's going to be when.
He keeps driving. It's not like they can avoid the questions for long--he thinks he hears rain on Loki's end. He's outside. ]
[The answer comes quickly and without hesitation.]
No. On paper, I lost the driver. An unknown. We're looking into it, but its not like we can talk to and track visitors that move through here. [Loki knew Paul was smart enough, or he hoped, that the man didn't do business over the phone. Records, paperwork trails - they were both allergic to it on varying degrees. Loki might as well have sprouted from nothing as far as the paper trail was concerned.]
I just want to know what you know. If you can help me with what I'm working on. [Just like he used to. The last time he'd asked for Paul's help, Paul had left him in the lurch, in the shit, and he had to fight like a beast to get himself out of it.]
You can get outta what you're in, you know. No harm, no foul..
Why did you leave LA? [He was back to 'why Paul was here'. Why here? Was it him? Was it a job? Was it a small town to hide out in?]
[ The last time Loki had asked for help, Paul had been trying desperately to keep Loki out of his own mess. Trying to keep his friend out of what he owed, out of things that went wrong. Tried to keep Loki in the dark as much as possible for his own safety. Loki had protected him since they first locked eyes at each other during lunch, Paul at the wrong place in the wrong time. Paul just wants to do the same, return the favour.
He listens. Knows they can only talk-but-not-talk over their phones, but he craves Loki's voice so that doesn't bother him as much as it should, continuing his night drive. He knows Loki knows, too. But phone calls are nice to Paul. They're a level of freedom he likes--he's always had trouble with self expression. Loki, not so much. Another of the many traits he admires. And Loki, well, he's not gonna arrest him despite being a cop. He can feel it. ]
Is this part of your interrogation?
[ hard to tell if it's a joke or not, but he knows Loki knows that it's not. ]
I want to talk about you. Not work. You. Do you understand?
[Loki didn't move a muscle until Paul tried to draw another line. He leans his head back against the brick and slides down it, free hand draping over his knee.
No, it wasn't part of his interrogation. He was going insane with the idea that Paul might actually have chosen this place because of him. It didn't matter if the answer might twist his gut in disappointment.]
That's not gonna work this time. [It was the power of Paul's Presence that really sold the steel, the calm, the danger that lied under it all. Except Paul wasn't within reach. He didn't have that power right now.]
There's nothing about me to talk about. It'd all be easier if you hadn't landed yourself right in the middle of my work. I'm not just chasing down run of the mill murderers.. I'm chasing child abusers, kidnappers, religious nuts. [The same kind that they'd lived under. The same kind that they'd survived together. He couldn't let go. He couldn't deny what he felt he had to do. The people he had to save. The kids, that could be spared a second more from that particular kind of hell.
And then, smaller in voice:] I'm not tryin' to be an asshole here, I promise.
[ Loki says no in so many words, and Paul has to admit that as much as it angers him, it's such a quintessential Loki move that it only makes him smile.
Anyone else he'd hang up. Drive off, maybe. Choose another state. Fuck that. His past didn't exist. But it's Loki, the only person who has the balls to stand up to him. The only person that Paul will ever, ever listen to. ]
You're being a good guy.
[ Paul had tried to be one, too. Really, truly he did. But Loki? Loki's succeeding. Paul feels another twinge of envy. He's trying. Paul needs to try, too, maybe. ]
You know how this works.
[ Paul needs something. A reason. Money. A story. Anything. He waits. If they're going to talk about business, he will. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
Not everything that is lost stays that way
Date: 2023-08-22 08:51 pm (UTC)It was a new case. There wasn't any hesitation in his chief clearing him for another case, not after watching the way he hyperfixated on the last one, not after the chief figured they should take advantage of Loki's solve rate. He was a good detective. He didn't drink, he didn't smoke, and he worked hard. The Chief didn't see the in between parts, the way the hyperfixation consumed more of him than most traditional 'hard workers'. Work was the only thing that Loki had. It was the only thing he wanted.
Purpose.
Finally, the guy walks out with a duffle bag in hand. Loki breathes out hard in relief, more than tired of waiting. He'd been tagged as a possible suspect in a child trafficking ring, so the money (no doubt it was money, it was always money) didn't matter nearly as much as finding out where he lived. Where his friends lived. What kind of friends he had.
"Okay okay," he mutters to himself, thumb tapping idly on the wheel as he watches the guy get into a car. "Where are we going?"
The Honda starts up and pulls off. Loki follows, keeping his car several lengths back. It might have been unnecessary, but Loki wasn't going to take a chance and by the way the guy drove, he had no idea. Loki figured the guy would head to an apartment. A seedy hotel, maybe.
Instead, he was parking in a derelict lot, swapping cars. Loki made note of it and continued his pursuit, only to be rewarded with that seedy motel he'd been thinking of. The guy parks out front of a room and hustles out of his car, into a motel room where things were about to get ugly.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-22 11:49 pm (UTC)Four minutes.
He's acutely aware of the car with the other man in it. Doesn't bother looking at who he is, only catches him in the rear view mirror. Trouble already.
Three minutes.
The man emerges again, and the blonde leans over to unlock the passenger seat door. By three and a half, the driver's not staring at the man making his way towards the car but instead that other car. This city's newer but he's still got the entire thing memorized, pouring over street maps. It's not LA but it's still a beating heart and all the veins are something the driver's already intimately familiar with.
Two minutes in and another stranger emerges from the same room, this time with a gun. Paul opens the passenger door entirely for his partner, who barely slides in before a bullet flies, and he's already peeling out if the parking lot before his five minutes are up at his partner's yelled insistence.
Paul maneuvers the familiar car with ease, calm and collected while the man he's with screams that he's been shot. He's fine enough that he's still screaming, and anyway, Paul's not focused on that: he's being tailed. That same car, probably a set up of some sort. His gloved hands grip the wheel tighter and he swerves into a lane and practically drifts around a corner with calm precision, snaking his way through traffic at a high rate before turning right and slowing down completely and finding his rhythm. He can tell the other car is still tailing him, but in a few more minutes he's confident he can lose him. It just takes patience.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-23 02:21 am (UTC)Loki didn't move beyond the almost anxious shift in his seat as his guy comes back out. Shit. New car, and this time he's not driving. The only thing Loki could do was hope that stupid collected stupid. But the car wasn't pulling away.
"Why aren't you moving," he mutters out loud. "What are you waiting for."
Then, someone else. Someone armed. Bang Bang. The stillness being broken triggered several automatic things. The phone was dialed in - "10-71, at the following intersection, I'm in persuit-" The directions were rattled off as his car jumps to life and skids onto the road. It was an aggressive start - no way in hell was this was a stupid asshole. The way the car swerved was too smooth, too practiced. This was a professional.
"Shit."
Paul had always been and would always be the better driver, but Loki wasn't chump change. He'd been in police pursuits too many times before and, for a few seconds, looks like he might be able to keep up. It was the turns that really slowed him down, too scared to hit it too hard and flip his car, conscious of all the civilians around but he caught what he could on the straight aways.
"Come on, come on," he growls as he pushes his foot down harder on the pedal. This guy was good.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-23 05:42 am (UTC)--a familiar voice cutting through the police scanner he has, 10-71, at the following intersection, I'm in persuit -- that he realizes his tail is a cop. The voice sounds familiar in a way that Paul doesn't care to think on: not now. He's focusing all of his concentration on the road.
The cop's good. Shabby with the turns but he's been in a speeding car before, maybe a few chases. Paul plies the car to push just a little faster, keeping an eye on it from his rearview. Honda. Old. Not shitty, but normal. This cop wasn't expecting something like this then.
He stops thinking about that, too and gently loosens his foot on the gas, purposefully slowing down on a turn to let the car get a bit closer.
At that exact last moment he takes a hard, controlled turn and watches the old Honda try to course correct. There's a satisfaction he'll relish in later, when his job is done, about how that poor car skids to that side walk and immediately starts steaming up, narrowly avoiding someone.
The man next to him is laughing. The driver ignores him and spends the rest of the drive on the long game: avoiding the rest of the cars sure to follow.
--
He ditches the car, walks away and takes a taxi to his apartment where he winds up grabbing his actual car keys and going for a real drive. He listens to nothing but the quiet night, thinking about how much he misses palm trees and contemplating why that voice on the dispatcher sounded vaguely familiar, even though the crackle But quickly dismisses it as his imagination as goes to the 24 hour Diner he's managed to find. He treats himself with his hard earned money: a piece of pie and some coffee. He doesn't sleep, too amped on caffeine and adrenaline.
When he does show up for work--a shitty mechanic job a few minutes from where he lives--he's surprised to see a familiar car.
"Oh hey, kid--this came in last night. Bounced a curb."
The driver frowns, confused. It's the car from the chase, clear as day. That chase had been far away from him--did it end close to his neighborhood? Was this the only garage available?
"Cop car. We fix it fast and they leave just as quickly. Hey--he's coming back in a few minutes now that we've asessed the damage, and it's busted for at least a week until we get the parts in. You want to volunteer to tell him?"
Ha ha. Paul says nothing at the joke: he doesn't really say anything at all here. Suits him just fine. What bothers him is that there's not enough time to get the car down from it's position and look into the glovebox for information on the new curiosity. Until then?
The driver nods politely instead and gets to work, watching the car like a hawk for its owner.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-23 05:06 pm (UTC)Or so he thought. The car turns too sharply and Loki knows he can't make it -"FUCK," he yells as it turns away from him, and the correction of his own speed and direction was too fast for him to recover. It was with screaming brakes and a hard bounce off of the curb that finally stops him.
"FUCK FUCK FUCK," he shouts, pounding three times in rapid succession on his steering wheel before sinking back into his seat and watching the smoke rise from his engine bay. Fuck was right. Repairs were going to have to come out of his pocket or come with an explanation as to why he felt the need to engage in a car chase all on his own.
--
Sleep wasn't going to happen. He was too amped, too focused, and too anxious about having lost his guy.
Loki calls a towing company, sets up his car to be taken to a shop by his apartment and walks back to the motel to meet up with responding police. The whole thing was a deal that went wrong, they figure and there's security footage of who the guy was meeting up with. Footage that wouldn't be available until the morning at the latest. So he pours over the motel room, walks around the property and chews over his next steps until the shop was open.
How bad the car was would determine how bad the rest of his day was going to be. Loki makes his way into the 'office', grabbing a cup of their 'coffee' - smelled and tastes like it was run through one of the oil filters, but shit it was better than nothing - before he's pointed out to the car bays.
"Your mechanic will get you up to date," he's told, and he nods his thanks before making his way out there. There was no mistaking his car, but its the mechanic in question that really surprises him. Loki stops dead a few feet away from the bay, staring with a quietly bewildered expression.
Was that Paul? It couldn't be. He had to be mistaken. Except the mechanic lowers his arms and lets Loki get a good look at his face.
"..Paul?" Maybe he was hallucinating. Not that he had any reason beyond no sleep to do so but - No way that Paul was in his area and he just didn't know.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-23 09:02 pm (UTC)He freezes even if his body remains fairly languid in its usually semi-robotic stance. It's a good way to hide his surprise because this isn't what he expected whatsoever-this is beyond. He'd assumed Loki got himself killed doing something reckless, maybe, with his dogged pursuit of what he'd been able to justify, but not here and not the one shadowing him. Paul is not expecting the other to be so tall either, though the way Loki's brow furrows is exactly the same. Haircut, too.
And he's the voice over the police scanner.
It usually takes a few seconds for Paul to answer, a castoff of his younger days when all he'd do is shut down, something that's now seen as mysterious and brooding to most people because he keeps to himself, but there's a small tell in the way he blinks that pries his secret from him: he's genuinely surprised. Loki's still pale while Paul's traded the sleepy Washington rain for LA sun, but he looks good. Loki still has that spark in his eyes that Paul admires, even if it looks like he didn't get any sleep at all. It's endearing. It's worrying. Paul's mouth feels dry.
"Can't get the new parts for a week," he says, voice soft and quiet with a surprisingly strong commanding air to behind it. He leans against one of the work benches next to him and crosses his arms, watching the other carefully. He's still on guard.
He has to be. And he can't exactly ask what happened with Loki's car, not when they know. Not if Loki's still as whip-smart as he was when they grew up together.
"I can drive you home if you want."
no subject
Date: 2023-08-23 10:55 pm (UTC)Safer that way.
The information about the car barely registers. A week was too long. Meant he was already in the shit and he hadn't even gone in yet. It was the 'I can drive you home if you want' that sent everything in him further up into the internal flurry of emotion.
"Gotta go to work." Short, to the point. Blunt but not cutting. Stunned. Careful. If he got even half a hope up, he was pretty sure he would implode. "You-" He blinks again and glances back at the office. "Just passing through or are you working here for real?"
no subject
Date: 2023-08-23 11:12 pm (UTC)Loki's just as short and to the point, cutting through everything and it's enough that Paul can't help the flutter of a smile. It's a flash but there, boyish on the driver's tall frame. It's gone in an instant, as quickly as Loki's blink as the other asks.
"I could drive you to work," He counter-offers, staring at the other's jaw, the way he still leads with his shoulders into everything and everything, even conversations. He's purposefully ignoring what he'd been asked.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-24 12:15 am (UTC)The math was too depressing but the memories still flutter through his mind. Him and Paul, small in the painfully spartan and coldly undecorated Catholic Orphanage, the shifts through the chaos of their lives that had always seemed destined to move together. The last time he saw Paul, they argued. The moment he realized that Paul was gone. He feels everything, all at once, blue and still tinted irisred-ish eye searching Paul's everything for- He wasn't sure. Too many options, too little time.
"Uh.." He glances at his own car almost longingly with another full face pinch. "Okay, yeah, sure. I got a few extra minutes, if you-" Fuck. Fuck. Paul wasn't supposed to be here. Loki's on a case. Loki is fully aware of the line, that threshold. He shouldn't. He shouldn't ask, he shouldn't offer, being in a car with Paul like they used to when they were riding around town at three in the morning was going to be hard enough. But he couldn't say no. Didn't have it in him to not at least take one ride around.
Just a lift. Nothing else. For old times sake.
"Like coffee or something, cause the shit you guys got here tastes like piss and oil."
no subject
Date: 2023-08-24 12:47 am (UTC)He missed him. His heart aches immediately, that twinge of something long forgotten lingering and slowly bubbling to the surface. The world is small now suddenly, just them with no one else existing, shrinking into the only thing that matters: them. He makes a mental note to drive to the nearest dealership and pick up the appropriate parts the next day, deciding to fix Loki's car immediately instead of waiting.
"Coffee," he agrees, and it's hard to tell if he's actually reluctant or it's a joke given his extremely stoic demeanor. He has work he should be doing, sure, but he has no problem making it up at a later date. He may be new but everyone's already fully aware of what he can do, even if he disappears for an hour he's here well until 10 most days. It's just coffee, anyway. A few moments away.
That's exactly why after agreeing Paul proceeds to lay down the wrench, grab a rag to wipe his hands down, and immediately start leaving his workplace without asking or telling a single person. He leads Loki back into the employee lot where a gray
1973 Chevrolet Chevelle Malibu sits, the license plates still proudly claiming California as a state.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-24 01:41 am (UTC)Privacy was dangerous.
"Coffee," he echoes, gesturing Paul to lead the way and enjoying the realization that he's finally the same height. He caught up. He wasn't a runt anymore. But his stride slows as they come into the back lot and he sees the Malibu. The Car. She looked good, even if the sight of her twists his heart and forces his eyes back over to the lines of Paul's shoulders as he moves around the nose of it.
The only person he knew that drove that well had ever been Paul. It wasn't likely but it was sure as hell possible.
"How long have you been here," he asks as he opens the door and slides in, immediately reevaluating the passing concern that he might have to worry about the engine falling out. It was built out. Paul had done what he said he was going to. He got her. He fixed her up.
Loki's very nearly jealous of the car.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-24 01:52 am (UTC)He tries to ignore the gnawing again, the guilt. He left and that's that, it was out of his hands. It was out of Loki's, too, and that doesn't make any of this hurt less. It doesn't stop the sudden spike of intimacy he feels the moment the last door closes and he turns the key to start it. When was the last time this had happened? He finds himself wishing it was night.
There's no music, just the hum of the engine and Paul immediately relaxes, feeling like now he can properly assess the situation as he pulls out. Loki's definitely the owner of the car, and Loki's also not stupid. Far from it, Loki had excelled in anything Paul had seen him do, that sheen of infatuated adoration never fully leaving him. Loki's probably got suspicions.
"Just came back," he answers, always vague and going back to his quiet demeanor. He gets on the highway, and decides to ask even though he already knows. He turns the correct direction of the nearest police station. He doesn't take his eyes off of Loki in the rearview. He'll stop at whatever coffee shop is along the way.
"Where am I taking you?"
no subject
Date: 2023-08-24 02:19 am (UTC)"Place called Cup and Dough. It'll be on your left in about a mile."
He should leave it alone. He shouldn't ask again. He should wait. But he couldn't.
"How long, Paul?"
It wasn't just about the case. It wasn't just about the chase. It was about the fact that Paul had been within spitting distance and he didn't know about it. He had to know how long he'd existed in the same town with Paul and not felt it in the bottom of his gut like he used to. The softest parts of him was hungry for what they had. What they almost had. The harder parts of him were terrified that he was going to turn around and Paul would be gone again. That he'd be just another dumb asshole in the streets, looking for someone who wasn't there anymore.
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:I'm giving you a night call to tell you how I feel;
Date: 2023-08-26 02:43 am (UTC)So he drives.
He drives and he thinks about everything, decompressing. He thinks about why he's here now. Thinks about Loki. He thinks a lot about Loki.
He's got his old friend's number form work, and he's already memorized it. He calls without a single ounce of hesitation, and instead of answering 'hey,' he just speaks. ]
I can't stop thinking about you.
[ there's the sound of the car humming, but it's a quiet sort of background noise. Paul feels like he can be vulnerable like this. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-26 03:03 am (UTC)The call was almost a welcome distraction and it was only because it was 2 am that he answered an unknown number, Paul's opening flattening him in one breath. He glances around the otherwise empty office and pushes to his feet, heading towards the stairs and eventually, the roof.]
I'm going to take that as a good thing. [Fuck he wanted it to be a good thing. He could hear the car engine in the background and could see Paul perfectly in his minds eye.] Especially if you're calling me to say so.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-26 03:12 am (UTC)Feeling lonely like this, it's second nature to him. Something out of it would he completely out of his comfort zone. He takes a while to respond. ]
Are you a good person?
no subject
Date: 2023-08-26 03:34 am (UTC)He doesn't answer right away, rolling the question over in his mind.]
I suppose that depends on who you ask. [Keller yelling at him for letting Alex go came to mind, but that case was still painfully fresh in a way he couldn't shake. Was he good with this much blood on his hands? With the number of children he doesn't find or finds too late.]
I try to be. When I can. Might make up for all the times I wasn't. Means making choices though. [Hard ones.]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-26 05:35 am (UTC)[ Paul's not so sure he did himself. He's not so sure he ever makes the right choice, not without Loki, not without his Loki, the guy that started a fight over some chode putting a hand up a girl's skirt in high school on his first day. Loki knows how it works. Paul...
Paul thought he knew how it worked. That's why he's here. Mostly now, he just wants to hear Loki's voice. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-26 04:19 pm (UTC)I do. You can guess what the alternative to my making the wrong choice is now. The only thing that eats me is time. How quick I figure something out. Or how long it takes me. [The people who die because he's not quicker or sharper or smarter-
Which is why he needed to know what happened the other night. What Paul was there for. What Paul knew.]
I'm going to need you to answer a couple of questions. The sooner the better. [But it didn't have to be this exact moment.]
I want to see you again.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-26 04:28 pm (UTC)He still doesn't like it. Loki's always been just on the precipice of breaking, and Paul knows he won't forgive himself when he does. Not if. Paul thinks at the rate his old friend is going it's going to be when.
He keeps driving. It's not like they can avoid the questions for long--he thinks he hears rain on Loki's end. He's outside. ]
Are you going to arrest me?
no subject
Date: 2023-08-26 04:46 pm (UTC)No. On paper, I lost the driver. An unknown. We're looking into it, but its not like we can talk to and track visitors that move through here. [Loki knew Paul was smart enough, or he hoped, that the man didn't do business over the phone. Records, paperwork trails - they were both allergic to it on varying degrees. Loki might as well have sprouted from nothing as far as the paper trail was concerned.]
I just want to know what you know. If you can help me with what I'm working on. [Just like he used to. The last time he'd asked for Paul's help, Paul had left him in the lurch, in the shit, and he had to fight like a beast to get himself out of it.]
You can get outta what you're in, you know. No harm, no foul..
Why did you leave LA? [He was back to 'why Paul was here'. Why here? Was it him? Was it a job? Was it a small town to hide out in?]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-27 02:06 am (UTC)He listens. Knows they can only talk-but-not-talk over their phones, but he craves Loki's voice so that doesn't bother him as much as it should, continuing his night drive. He knows Loki knows, too. But phone calls are nice to Paul. They're a level of freedom he likes--he's always had trouble with self expression. Loki, not so much. Another of the many traits he admires. And Loki, well, he's not gonna arrest him despite being a cop. He can feel it. ]
Is this part of your interrogation?
[ hard to tell if it's a joke or not, but he knows Loki knows that it's not. ]
I want to talk about you. Not work. You. Do you understand?
no subject
Date: 2023-08-27 02:25 am (UTC)No, it wasn't part of his interrogation. He was going insane with the idea that Paul might actually have chosen this place because of him. It didn't matter if the answer might twist his gut in disappointment.]
That's not gonna work this time. [It was the power of Paul's Presence that really sold the steel, the calm, the danger that lied under it all. Except Paul wasn't within reach. He didn't have that power right now.]
There's nothing about me to talk about. It'd all be easier if you hadn't landed yourself right in the middle of my work. I'm not just chasing down run of the mill murderers.. I'm chasing child abusers, kidnappers, religious nuts. [The same kind that they'd lived under. The same kind that they'd survived together. He couldn't let go. He couldn't deny what he felt he had to do. The people he had to save. The kids, that could be spared a second more from that particular kind of hell.
And then, smaller in voice:] I'm not tryin' to be an asshole here, I promise.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-27 02:38 am (UTC)Anyone else he'd hang up. Drive off, maybe. Choose another state. Fuck that. His past didn't exist. But it's Loki, the only person who has the balls to stand up to him. The only person that Paul will ever, ever listen to. ]
You're being a good guy.
[ Paul had tried to be one, too. Really, truly he did. But Loki? Loki's succeeding. Paul feels another twinge of envy. He's trying. Paul needs to try, too, maybe. ]
You know how this works.
[ Paul needs something. A reason. Money. A story. Anything. He waits. If they're going to talk about business, he will. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-27 02:49 am (UTC)He knew how it worked. But that didn't narrow down the options.]
Tell me you didn't know who you were driving for. What they were doing.
[That would be enough. That would be enough to let him set this to the side for now without it chewing at him like slow burning acid. ]
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From: